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I don't know what to do

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  • I don't know what to do

    Disclamer : long story , be warned . Also I have only stated the negative sides of the story .

    I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over 3 years now . When we met he was so sweet and caring , he always told me about his trust problems and bipolar issues . I fell madly in love with him and , he told me that his feelings are the same . The problems started early in our relationship when his parents got separated and that played a significant role in our relationship . He smoked weed masivley and got really close to one of his female friends . He did admit (when I found out) that the two of them became close and that he took a liking to her but he said it never went past that and left a lot of things out ( like giving her a necklace that she said "has some meaning" , and writing a song about a girl on whom he placed his lips on (he is a musician)) . To be honest that always crossed my mind whenever I needed to trust him throughout all of these 3 years . He also made a promise with me that he will not smoke weed anymore ( and this was a promise that he wanted to make with me on his own , I never forced him to stop ) after our whole first year together I found out that he broke that promise not even 3 days after he made it with me , and that broke my heart for the first time . I forgave him and begged that ; whatever happens we talk to each other and that we should have a better communication and tell each other about the struggles we have in our relationship . Little by little we began to have less and less problems a d we managed to talk about everything . However I did notice that whenever we had a problem I was always the one who pointed it out and somehow he always turned the blame on me , but always apologised after some time . Now in our 3rd year he started to act really strangely he was either the best boyfriend or the worst one , and I kept telling myself that it is because of his untreated bipolar issue . Problems started re appearing , he now rarely gives me compliments and often points out my flaws which I feel really self conscious about ( like how i gained a bit of weight ) . For our 3rd anniversary I planned the day out and went over to his house . I kept asking him if he has any plans for today just in case he had some work to do and he kept saying no . Throughout the whole day I kept telling him to get ready because I wanted to take him out and he kept saying that he doesnt want to , evening came and he told me to get ready and in the bus he asked me if I was going with him , and that he planed band practice . At that point I cried and he told me it was my fault for not letting him know about our plans , and left me crying inside the bus . After that day he gave me an apology and I accepted it . Some time has passed and nothing changed his , his birthday came and he got drunk and in a conversation with his friends he said that he thinks that he would never marry me . I later asked him about it and he gave me no answer just "i am sorry" . Finally two days ago I wanted to go and buy something for myself and he commented on it how it was stupid and I politely asked him to stop commenting on things that I want to buy for myself , and asked him if he wanted to come with me since i didnt want to be alone because one of my familys friends just died ( but clearly stated that he doesnt have to if hes not up for it ) . He agreed and came along . While I was at the shop and asking a sales person about the purchase and some information about the product that i wanted to buy he kept making side comments and being annoyed by everything . Not ever 15 minutes passed and we left the store and i didnt buy the item , he kept asking me what we were going to do next and he kept geting annoyed . I was under too much stress and broke down in tears and asked him why he was acting the way he was . And all he stood frozen and looked at me with disbelief , all he said next was " fine , if you are going to be this way , see you " and left me crying . I tried calling him but he didnt pick up . I sent him a text asking him why and telling him how i wanted to talk and how i was going to wait untill he comes and talks to me properly . I waited for 2 hours and all i got was a facebook message telling me how I keep treating him like a criminal for little things and how i was being unreasonable . I replied that i wanted to talk but he gave me no answer . 30 more minutes passed and he said how he was sorry and how he is lately nervous because he is trying to stop smoking and told me to come over to his house today . I told hik i had work and he never replied to me after that this whole day . I do not know what to do anymore since I feel like i am the one who over reacts and i feel like the bad guy . He distanced himself from a lot of people including his family and quit college , I am greatly afraid for him as well our relationship .
    Last edited by Girl-A; January 30th, 2018, 10:00 PM.

  • #2
    Just all sounds a bit flaky to me. I'm guessing incompatibility.
    Why do you love him? You certainly aren't happy with him.

    I think the relationship has expired.


    • #3
      He's a good for nothing child. Pull yourself together and stop being so irritable yourself and cleanse yourself of his presence. Not responding to you is inexcusable and messaging him after he pissed you off shouldn't be happening. You're way too needy and a quivering mess. You don't go over anywhere when he fucks up. He should go to you. Move on.


      • #4
        He may be a child but so are you. Who TF waits two hours for someone after telling them you weren't moving until they come back and talk to you while you sit there and cry? A four year old might.

        You say his bi-polar is "untreated." Has he actually been diagnosed with bi-polar?

        He's not happy with you, he "would never marry you." You're not happy with him and he makes you cry when he won't do what you say. He told you he didn't want to go out when you said you wanted to take him out but you kept at him only to end up crying when he didn't do what you wanted. So it's debatable that he's the one who fucked up. You fucked up when you didn't listen to him.

        Since neither of you are having a good time in this union, I suggest you sever it, heal and then move on to find someone that will make you happy.

        Last edited by phasesofthemoon; January 31st, 2018, 10:36 PM.
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!