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Did I come off to strong and scare her?

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  • Did I come off to strong and scare her?

    I met this girl in college a couple weeks ago and we got lunch together yesterday. I was unsure if we were on a date or not but I still decided to go with it and see how it goes. We had a good time and talked for a couple hours but even after we hung out, I was still confused.

    In efforts to find out what was going on, I decided to just ask her. She said she didn’t think it was a date but “would have been fine with it being one.” To me, this was great news because there was a chance for me. However, I made a mistake by responding too enthusiastically. I’m almost certain that I messed up when I sent her the words “Awesome! We could definitely set something up” and got no response (keep in mind she ALWAYS responds to my messages).

    I don’t want her to think that I’m chasing her but my message gave her that impression. I know that my enthusiasm caught her off guard and probably scared her a little so I think that giving her space and not texting for a couple days is the best idea. I want her to understand that I was merely excited and don’t intend to rush into things but I know that any more heavy conversation is going to be detrimental right now.

    What do you guys think? Did I mess up any chance of her actually going on a date with me or is there still a chance? What would you do if you were in my shoes?

  • #2
    Yes, you messed up by trying to label having lunch with someone.

    I would wait several days and then call her (not text) and ask her to dinner or a movie.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


    • #3
      I think where you messed up was just saying awesome and then not actually setting up anything to see her again. Ask her out on a proper date and if she makes and excuse and doesn't suggest another date then just forget about her because she's clearly not actually interested. What you said and what you asked would not scare away anyone that was keen to be with you... IMO
      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


      • #4
        she is probably confused and uncertain how to respond to your message. clear the air with her by requesting a date soon