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Met a girl on a cruise. Shes flying up for NYE and both recently single. Need advice

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  • Met a girl on a cruise. Shes flying up for NYE and both recently single. Need advice

    Hello everyone,

    I just returned home from a Carribean cruise and had a great time. On the 6/7 day I met a pretty extradordinary girl and we had a date sort of on the beach playing football and just drinking and dancing and having a good time. Im 20 and shes 22. We hit it off and pretty much were stuck by eachother for the last two days of the cruise. We kissed the final night at the bar and I didn't think it was going to go anywhere but she called my room the morning we got off because she wanted to see me. We talked and said our goodbyes but we both knew it wouldn't be our last goodbye. We texted all day for the next few days and facetiming whenever possible and we really have feelings for one another.

    As soon as we started talking we wanted to see more of eachother. She offered to fly up to spend new years with me but it is quite expensive obviously, my uncle i svery wealthy and is flying her up to me and getting us a hotel on his points for airmiles and we are going to spend new years together to try and explore our connection.

    We both ended contact with our exes after we started talking but she recently has been messaging me with some doubts about the whole thing saying how shes still getting over her ex (as am I) and that she doesn't know if its a good idea for her to come because she feels the need to not be tied down by anyone since she just got out. She loves me shes told me she loves me and she has told me another worry she has is coming here and falling in love with me because she said she almost did on the cruise. I am sitting here trying to tell her I dont even know what I want yet and to just come and test the waters and see where things go. She has told her whole family about me and how much she wants to see me and I have done the same. We haven't had sex or done anything of the sort we have only kissed once.

    I dont kno whow to approach this situation, I dont know if I was just a rebound and now she wants rid of me or if she was looking for or if she is genuinely conflicted and really has feelings for me. When we talk and when she smiles at me I know theres a connection, I just don't know where to go from here right now as she is deciding on whether or not its best for her to use the free flight to come see me. Please give me any advice you can on whatever I can say or do to save this and stop her from overthinking everything.

  • #2
    She doesn't love you. She might be sexually attracted to you.

    This was just a holiday fling and you both apparently cheated on your current partners while on the cruise. Now that the cruise is over, she's assessing the reality of the situation and realizes that she doesn't want to jump into anything with you or anyone else. That part about being afraid of falling in love is world-class bullshit. No woman ever avoids a man for fear that she'll fall in love with him.

    Just chalk it up to a holiday romance and move on.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      I think you're too serious for what it's worth and you're living on someone else's good graces (your uncle). So let's say she does take the free flight because it's fun to get things for free, then what? Do either of you have the ability to sustain subsequent flights in the future and/or relocating?

      You're not the first two who have found sparks while on a random vacation. Billions of people hit it off on vacations and it fizzles away because it's a great time. Reality hits and people have to go back to work, they remember...oops, their husbands or wives or boyfriends or girlfriends or exes because well....lo and behold, not everyone travels light!

      Have your fun but getting hot and heavy over some chick you met on a boat and brushed lips with once or twice on the last night is bit hairbrained if you ask me.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by SarahLancaster View Post
        She doesn't love you. She might be sexually attracted to you.

        This was just a holiday fling and you both apparently cheated on your current partners while on the cruise. Now that the cruise is over, she's assessing the reality of the situation and realizes that she doesn't want to jump into anything with you or anyone else. That part about being afraid of falling in love is world-class bullshit. No woman ever avoids a man for fear that she'll fall in love with him.

        Just chalk it up to a holiday romance and move on.


        I see what youre saying and I figured I would get responses like this, neither of us cheated we were already out of relationships when we met but were still in contact with our exes. We were both freshly broken up within a few weeks. If its bullshit I don't understand why she would go through all this effort to see me, like what does she have to gain by making that up and lying? We live 15 hours car ride away. She has told me many of times that shes more attracted to my personality then my looks which. I just don't understand why she would say all of these things and go through all this talk of being by my side if she doesn't feel for me.

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