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My boyfriend left for his baby mama and now im with her ex..

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  • My boyfriend left for his baby mama and now im with her ex..

    So the other day my boyfriend, we'll call him Mitch, told me we were going to go spend the day at his sister's house. He then told me his baby mama and her boyfriend, who we will call Cara and Jack, were over there. I protested to no avail and dressed his two daughters in preparation to go there. Him and I had talked the night before about our relationship problems and he told me in his words his priorities were #1: getting right with his parents (who we live with and he had previously upset), #2: Doing our share around the house and working, and #3: Working on our relationship with each other. And Job #1: Getting all of his stuff from Cara because she had informed him that morning that she still had all of his expensive personal belongings. I told him how much i hated him even speaking with her because she just likes to start shit between us but that i understood he had to because she is the mother of his children and told him i would appreciate if he wouldn't speak with her unless it was regarding the children and he said that he had nine years with her and that was more than enough. So i went with him to his sisters fairly confident everything would be fine. Upon arrival things were a little awkward as usual but we all played nice and eventually his sister, Cara, and Jack were about to leave to go to Wal-Mart and Mitch and I were going to go home. However, Cara and Jack suddenly got into an explosive argument and broke things off, Jack gave me some of my clothes Cara had apparently stolen from me out of my boyfriends car, and then he left with Cara and Mitch's sister. When Mitch and I got home we found out that Cara and his sister had called Mitch's parents and stirred up drama with a bunch of lies in an attempt to get rid of me. Mitch and I packed our stuff and went to my grandmas house. When we got to my grandmas house Mitch told me he wanted to stay the night with his friend John because he felt uncomfortable so we walked over there and I hung out for thirty minutes or so before kissing him goodbye and he told me he loved me and assured me he was going to sleep and I could come over to Johns in the morning to see him. I went back to my grandmas and after awhile saw that he told one girl he was going to the casino, i confronted him and he said he wasn't going to the casino. Then his friend called me and said he heard his baby mama in the background while they were speaking on the phone. So i texted him and said i heard she was with him and asked if i should give her a call but immediately texted back and said nevermind bc i know im better than that and apologized for being so insecure and told him goodnight and he told me goodnight and said he loved me. The following morning i woke up and made me some cereal and he texted me hey so i replied with hey and asked what his plans for the day were. He told me he was going with john to help his dad with some stuff. Then i got on facebook and saw that he changed his relationship status to single so i asked him why and he said he didnt. Then i see that his sister posted a picture of her, Mitch, and Cara stating that they were all going to spend the night in a hotel. At this point Mitch stopped replying to me. I changed my relationship status to single and later that evening Jack messaged me and asked me to hang out with him. So i went and hung out with him and we talked about how much we had each done for Mitch and Cara and their children and how hurt we each were and decided to see how things progressed. That was yesterday and so today Jack told me he's been in contact with Cara some and asked if I've talked to Mitch and I told him I haven't bc Mitch has been ignoring me other than saying he was sorry last night and after me not texting him all day today he eventually messaged me hey and i ignored him for an hour or so but then caved and sent hey back to which he didn't reply. I have since informed him i was blocking his number and blocking him on facebook and moving to another city and asked him to gather the remainder of my belongings in preparation for my mother to pick them up. I've been with Jack this whole time and he seems to like me and he's very sweet. But he still misses Cara and I still miss Mitch so we havent done anything physical. Now im laying here wondering what in the hell is going on. Are Cara and Mitch going to stay together while me and Jack stay together or is Cara going to come back for Jack? Was Mitch only attempting to get his belongings ? And what in the hell should I do. I am so lost and broken. I have put in so much time and effort into Mitch and his girls and him and Cara have been split up for well over a year. He told me so much about how bad she treated him and so many others have verified his stories. Any advice or thoughts would be helpful. Someone call Jerry Springer because we got some crazy shit going on here.

  • #2
    Mitch and Cara split over a year ago after 9 years.
    How long have you been with him? I'm guessing a year max?
    So why are you living at his parents? Don't you want to be with someone who is responsible? Particularly when there are kids involved? He clearly isn't.
    You were his rebound relationship. How soon into your involvement did he introduce his kids to you?
    That should not have happened until you had a place together at least.

    Stay away from Jack. He is not interested in you , just the drama that includes you.
    Jack was also a rebound it seems.

    Yes this is jerry springer worth but you have been heavily involved in creating the drama.
    You move into a guys parents house , irresponsible and a bit silly.
    You refer to her as his baby mama. Sorry but that's disrespectful. They had children together. She is the mother of his kids and you need to respect that.
    He changed his fb status to single ( immature) and you respond impulsively without proper communication and tell all your fb friends that you are single too. Why?

    Yes he has been an asshole , but you chose to live with this asshole under his parents roof!!

    If you don't want drama in your life , then avoid it rather than getting involved in it.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Tingram3 View Post
      we found out that Cara and his sister had called Mitch's parents and stirred up drama with a bunch of lies

      his friend called me and said he heard his baby mama in the background while they were speaking on the phone

      getting right with his parents (who we live with and he had previously upset)
      Everyone involved in this situation sounds like a drama manufacturer, yourself included. E.g. the petty bullshit like changing your Facebook status to single. And how did you ''see'' that he spoke to someone about the casino? Are you spying on his messages or something?



      Originally posted by Tingram3 View Post
      I've been with Jack this whole time and he seems to like me and he's very sweet. But he still misses Cara and I still miss Mitch
      This is going nowhere. It's clearly just a rebound for both of you to try and get back at the others. Don't waste your time here.



      Originally posted by Tingram3 View Post
      Was Mitch only attempting to get his belongings?
      I highly doubt it, because he would have been clear and upfront about it, rather than ignoring your attempts to contact him.



      Originally posted by Tingram3 View Post
      what in the hell should I do.
      You would be better off dropping the lot of them and removing yourself from the situation completely.







      Originally posted by Maggiemay4791 View Post
      You refer to her as his baby mama. Sorry but that's disrespectful. They had children together. She is the mother of his kids and you need to respect that.
      I don't think that's the case. 'Baby Mama' and 'Baby Daddy' are common terms amongst young people now, it doesn't necessarily come with negative connotations.

      Not meaning to make you sound like an old fart who's out of the loop....



      Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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      • #4
        It may be common, but it does trivialize the act of bringing a child into the world (not to mention being hideously ungrammatical).
        "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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