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Asking her out next step?

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  • Asking her out next step?

    I'm not really good, and get nervous, when meeting new people. I try to push myself into new situations so I joined a local meet up group to meet new people and do different things. There's a girl there I've gotten to know a bit and we get on pretty well, we share some things in common, and I finally worked up the courage to ask her out. However she suggested to invite other members of the group along so I'm not sure if she likes me in that way or not, maybe she wanted a way out of it but just didn't want to say no.

    I'm not sure if I should organise a group meet as she suggests or ask her straight out what she thinks of me, I don't want her to feel like I'm putting pressure on her.

    I feel a bit numbed by indecision at the moment.

  • #2
    How old are you both?

    You should probably do as she suggested and organize a group night out. With any luck, you'll get to spend some time with her and maybe she'll want to take it further.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      We are only a year apart (34/35).

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      • #4
        Next time you have a private moment alone when you're both talking tell her you like her and would like to go on a date. Women at a young age can be quite daft or nervous themselves. She may be regretting her initial words. Remember, that what happens between two people should remain between two people. She doesn't or shouldn't need the moral support of her friends unless she's less than 12 years old (in which case I'm not sure you both should be allowed to date in the first place). Be careful you're not getting wrapped up with a someone who is emotionally insecure, braindead or spineless (unable to make decisions on her own). I see far more heartache dragging other friends into a group date and more complications. It's none of their business.

        Edit: I just read your last post. For heaven's sake, do NOT allow a group date.

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        • #5
          He asked her out. She rejected a one-on-one meeting and suggested a group. That's what he should respect. It would be rude to continue to ask for a date when she has rejected the idea.
          "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Rose Mosse View Post
            Next time you have a private moment alone when you're both talking tell her you like her and would like to go on a date. Women at a young age can be quite daft or nervous themselves. She may be regretting her initial words. Remember, that what happens between two people should remain between two people. She doesn't or shouldn't need the moral support of her friends unless she's less than 12 years old (in which case I'm not sure you both should be allowed to date in the first place). Be careful you're not getting wrapped up with a someone who is emotionally insecure, braindead or spineless (unable to make decisions on her own). I see far more heartache dragging other friends into a group date and more complications. It's none of their business.

            Edit: I just read your last post. For heaven's sake, do NOT allow a group date.
            We usually meet up as a group once a week/fortnight anyway and try out different places to drink and different activities.

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            • #7
              I'm sorry- I misread.
              If she is hesitant to go on a first date together with you in person when you so clearly asked I'm not sure she's the right person for you. I still don't think group dates are that great when you want to get to know someone more. Surely, there should be some desire in a woman to want to get to know you on a one on one basis only. Perhaps she is too worried what her girlfriends and other people think of her if she spends time with you. People assume things too fast and inaccurately and unfortunately they also love to gossip and pry into other peoples' business. Anything that you both share will be fodder for the group. The point is you made your intentions clear and she seems a bit dim-witted or isn't interested in you. The part about group dates is just a bad idea all around but this is a personal opinion only.

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