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Was i drunk flirting with my boyfriend's friend?

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  • Was i drunk flirting with my boyfriend's friend?

    Hi. i'm new to this site. i desperately need your thoughts on this. Just this week, my boyfriend, i and three of his friends went out of town. more people are coming but we were the ones to arrive at the location.

    me and my bf were not so okay during that time but we decided to be civil to each other so we could go. when we got there, we started drinking with his friends -- Deedee (lesbian), Kim(guy 1), mark (guy2).

    since we were nit so okay during that time, we were physically distant during that time to avoid tension. hours passed and i had too much to drink. i recall starting to talk to his friend and i didnt notice that we were already talking for so long. my bf was in the pool and i dint notice that he was already looking at me when the conversation with Kim was already taking some time.

    he went upstairs already jealous and he was slamming the door of the rooms we had there with me still not noticing that something is going on already.

    i dont recall everything that happened but after waking up from my sleep, he said kim was already at an intimate distance with me when we were talking. i was told that i also had some touching gestures to this kim. this was brought to his attention by mark and deedee and they said to him that we were getting touch.

    that really hurt me and now he is breaking up with me.

    my question is. was i really flirting? im trying to ask myself but all i can remember is i got no intention on flieting with whoever and i was innocently making a conversation with kim.

    i dont wanna lose him but now im questioning myself as well.

  • #2
    I think you guys should have patched things up instead of going there with tension, then that can make other people kind of off as well and on guard. Honestly, as a man, I wouldve came in between you guys if that was the case? And yes, I find that flirty if you two were close and both touching. I really really really hope you two can talk and work it out because this is what alcohol can do. Its the devil.. Please let me know if you guys are okay!


    • #3
      If your boyfriend wants to leave you due to the circumstances, as painful as it may seem, just state your feelings and let him do as he wishes. Unfortunately you can't stop how another person feels and if he feels hurt or wronged, he's going to carry that even if you decide to work it through. He's going to throw it in your face at every fight down the line, and he's going to question you about where you go and who you are talking to. I slept with someone else because of a douche boyfriend. I felt like we were breaking up and I wanted to be with someone who could really show me he cared and I wanted to feel loved. That person I was dating was a chronic liar and broke my heart so many times my pillow was always wet with tears at night. Well, after it all, we tried to patch things up and I never said a word about the other man. He messaged me one day to ask if I was all right and my boyfriend at the time saw it. Things were never the same again and I never should have allowed that relationship to carry on. I look back now and how incompatible we were and how I really was never happy with him and he couldn't stand me either. He chain smoked, drank constantly, lost so many things in his drunk stupor and always lied to me. I have no idea what I saw in him either; I must have been young and naive. The man I was with that night kept a respectful distance and the last I ever heard from him was when he last texted me to ask how I was. I said I was getting married and very happy now and hoped the same for him and thanked him for being there for me in my darkest moments when I felt no one was.

      In the end you do what you feel is right but don't fight what isn't good for you in the big picture. I'm lucky I ended up meeting someone entirely different who swept me off my feet and I have never been happier since. But it took a lot of wading through the pool of frogs to find my prince. Or rather he insists he found me. I hope you feel better soon.
      Last edited by Rose Mosse; November 26th, 2017, 12:39 PM.


      • #4
        Let him go, you're better off without him since it's quite obvious that he was just looking for any excuse to end the relationship.

        Sorry this happened and you're hurting but it is what it is.
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


        • #5
          It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do that night. He wanted to end it before that night and used it as an excuse.


          • #6
            So your bf was basically ignoring you among friends but apparently expected you to sit quietly doing nothing. Number 1, you know if you were flirting or not. Number 2, he is all about how you make him look and not at all about making you happy, so please just let him go. And no, don't date any of his friends once he's gone. It will give you a bad reputation.
            Not at all flirtatious. Why does it say that??