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Falling in love with my best friend...

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  • Falling in love with my best friend...

    I have been best friends with my best friend for 7 years, since we first met at college. He always liked me and asked me out a few times and I always declined, as I didn't feel the same way. We went our separate ways in life but still continued to see each other pretty much whenever possible - he is a pilot and lived abroad whilst studying and I visited several times and he would visit me when he was back home. I've never thought anything more of him until recently.

    I began to slowly come to the realisation that this guy treats me better than anyone I have ever known, has never judged me, has literally turned up at my house unannounced to take me for a drive and cheer me up when I was sad, has invited me to stay last minute when I was incredibly depressed and just did everything possible to make things better, never took advantage, never pressed, never made me uncomfortable, put up with my generally naff personality traits... for nothing in return.

    We went to the fireworks and it was cold so we ended up holding hands... then we went back to stay at his (which I have done many times with nothing happening) and ended up getting rather close. I was incredibly confused by this as I've never looked at him that way or even considered it (despite the obvious if we're single at 40 I would so marry you because clearly you're awesome). I've been lucky enough to see him a few times since and we are just getting incredibly close... holding hands driving... over the table... kissing goodbye etc.

    Now he retains the fact he has and always will like me... and suggested the natural way to move our relationship to the next level was "fuck buddies" which I took offence to. I think he sees things very simply whereas I make a massive deal out of everything - clearly.

    I know it's not necessarily the best timing and situation with location but I literally have fallen in love with him and I have never been in love with anyone before. I have no idea what to do. He is the person I would talk to about things like this and obviously I can't... and I have no idea if he feels the same... he's implied not. But then who knows! I feel as though I've finally realised everything I want is right there in front of me and am absolutely terrified of losing him, despite him saying that's never going to happen and being bemused by me even considering that as an option.... and I don't know whether to tell him or just keep quiet.

    Thank you if you made it this far! I feel I just needed to vent really.
    Any advise or experiences to share? Greatly appreciated!

  • #2
    I think that you shouldn't build up your hopes too much. He has repeatedly suggested that a relationship is 'never going to happen.' I would take him at his word. He is looking for a FWB situation only. If that's not what you want, you need to tell him so and move on.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


    • #3
      I tend to be fiercely protective of hopeful and new love. But this does take the cake. Keep your clothes on and your patience honed. This guy is not the right guy for you. He is a good friend but in guy terms, he's swooping in for the kill and you're the fresh meat.