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Dags Male Guide To A Welcoming Home

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  • Dags Male Guide To A Welcoming Home

    Alright, time to share my mental checklist of preparing my place for a new lady. Parts of this also apply to dates in general, but I have learned and improved upon this checklist many times and it has never failed to impress my female acquaintances. Do not be overwhelmed by this list or assume everything will apply to your date; each one is unique!

    The Goal: To make her feel like you care about her comfort, security, and health. The goal is NOT to boast about your place, keep that in mind. It is imperative your place succeeds in each of these areas. Remember first impressions speak volumes! Above all your only expectation should be to have fun!

    • If you live in a northern region and have snow, ensure your driveway and sidewalks are clear of snow and ice. Shovel, lay down salt/dirt, or whatever is needed to be sure you don't start your date with her experiencing a broken hip or tailbone.
    • Ensure you have proper lighting. Leave your front porch/entrance or door lighting on.
    • Let her know where she can park if she is driving there to meet you. Offer your garage up if the weather is poor.
    • Meet her outside when she arrives. Don't wait for her to come and knock on your door.

    • Vacuum and mop all of your floors. Even of rooms you won't be using. Scents travel.
    • Clean your toilets inside and out. Remember girls always have to sit, and your fire hydrant piss marks on a toilet are not welcoming to a female buttocks. Shit stains in the bowl are not pleasant either.
    • Toilet seats AND covers should be DOWN.
    • Ensure your bathrooms have a plentiful supply of toilet paper. If a roll is near empty leave another one in open sight. Lets not have her searching through your bathroom cabinets for another roll.
    • Clean your vanity's with a disinfecting wipe. Beard trimmings, toothpaste stains, grimy toothbrush holders, etc are all rather unpleasant to see.
    • SCRUB your bathtub. There should be no signs of mold, algae, etc.
    • Empty of all your trash bins and recycling. They can produce some rancid smell if food is in them.
    • Clean your stove, sink(s), and microwave. No crumbs, stains, or spills should be visible.
    • Make sure all dirty dishes are clean or in the dishwasher. Your sink should be empty and clean. Clean items should be put away.
    • Complete all of your dirty laundry, and fold and hangup all clean laundry. No clothing should be found sitting on your floors, beds, chairs, benches, etc.
    • Turn your lights on before she arrives, the place should be well lit. Open your shades and let sunlight in if it is during the day.
    • Wash your comforter AND sheets. You likely won't be using your bed on a first time over, but just in case. She doesn't want to cuddle up in your man sweat sheets (yet). After they are cleaned MAKE your bed. It shouldn't look like you just got out of it.
    • Condoms should be in your bedroom but hidden (e.g. in a nightstand drawer). Also keep tissues (not paper towels/napkins) within arms reach of your bed. Again, likely not needed on a first date but just in case.
    • If you are cooking or hosting dinner have the table set BEFORE she arrives. Make sure you have a decent variety of beverages she may like. I also recommend having a small finger food out, such as: nuts, pretzels, mixed fruit (grapes, clementines, berries), crackers, etc. I am also assuming you know of any allergies/dietary restrictions she may have.
    • Keep doors to rooms you do not want visible closed, such as a laundry room, storage room, basement, closets, etc.
    • Have a blanket available in the living room if you will be spending time there. It should be folded and placed on the back of the couch. It doesn't hurt to have a decorative pillow or two on the couch as well.
    • Ensure all of your media is organized (movies, games, etc).
    • Don't have your TV or computer on when she arrives. It is ok to have some quiet background music playing.
    • There should be no visible dust or grime on your counters, tables, and furniture.
    • Don't check your god damn phone when she is over. Put it away on silent unless you are expecting an important call (tell her beforehand).
    • If you own a dog make sure it is placed in a secure location (e.g. basement). Do NOT let it bark at her, try to jump on her, rub its nasty fur on her nice clothes, etc. Your pet may be your best friend, but this night is about you and her, not you, her, and your pet. If she knows about it and wishes to meet and greet with your furry friend then that is an appropriate time to make introductions.
    • If you own any fur shedding animal make sure it is cleaned as best you can. The sticky rollers work great on furniture.

    • Take a shower the morning of, but not after you clean your bathtub.
    • Clip your nails and make sure there are no sharp edges.
    • If you have facial hair make sure it is trimmed and neatly kept.
    • Wear deodorant, and cologne in appropriate amounts. I recommend spraying it a few hours before she arrives so it has time to 'settle'. Fresh sprayed cologne can be overwhelming.
    • Brush your teeth, floss them, and use a mint mouthwash. This should be done shortly before she arrives.
    • Wear appropriate clothing, generally a nice pair of jeans or khakis and a nice shirt or sweater. Avoid anything with holes, tears or stains in it. This applies to socks too...
    • Use lotion on your hands, especially if they are rough or dry. No need for fancy smelling stuff, any lotion will do.

    Her Arrival:
    • Once you have entered your place offer to take her coat and HANG it up. Don't throw it on the back of a chair. If she has to take her shoes off let her know where she may put them. Do not offer to take her purse/bag, that is a woman's private property and you shouldn't be touching it.
    • Begin by offering a tour of your place. Showing the rooms that are appropriate. Ensure at least one of the bathrooms is shown (the one you want her to use) so she knows where it is. Leave the light in that bathroom on. This tour builds her sense of security by knowing her environment.
    • Offer a beverage or snack. If the beverage comes in a bottle, such as beer or soda, ask if she would like it in a glass instead. Also doesn't hurt to inquire if she would like ice with it or not.
    • Show her where the garbage is in the kitchen should she have anything that needs to be thrown out during the stay, such as gum.
    • When it is time to leave, walk her to her car. I always like to give a hug on the first date and thank her for spending time with me and to let me know when she gets home safely via a call or text. Don't be a lazy dick and say goodbye at your door.

    That is my general list. I hope you find it helpful! There is likely stuff I am missing so add your own as you deem appropriate! If I think of more within the edit period I will add it, if not I will add them in subsequent posts.
    Last edited by Dagwood; January 11th, 2014, 02:33 AM.

  • #2
    Re: Dags Male Guide To A Welcoming Home

    The only ticks I can put against this entire list is that I have pillows and blankets available, and I don't have a dog.

    Haha! Better not invite any women round for the foreseeable future.

    At this moment in time my bed is in the front room, stationed in front of my 60inch flatscreen, surrounded by empty Dr Pepper cans.

    It's the rock star life for me ...
    Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.


    • #3
      Re: Dags Male Guide To A Welcoming Home

      Yep its just another day in paradise.. :eusa_whis
      Attached Files
      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


      • #4
        Re: Dags Male Guide To A Welcoming Home

        Toilet seats AND covers should be DOWN.
        Cover me means...someone hasn't flushed the toilet. I don't like the cover down.


        • #5
          Re: Dags Male Guide To A Welcoming Home

          Yuck, where do you live where that is the case on a frequent basis?


          • #6
            Re: Dags Male Guide To A Welcoming Home

            Lighting a candle or two and letting it burn for about half an hour before she arrives has worked well for me. I know they can generally be considered a girly thing, but there are some more "manly" candles out there that won't make your place like a Bed Bath and Beyond or Pier 1 Imports or the other side of it smell like a teenage boy drowing in Axe body spray at his 8th grade prom.
            While a clean home won't smell bad, the smell from a candle can be comforting.

            Speaking of Axe, body spray doesn't count as a cologne.

            Fluffy white (or lighter color) bed sheets, pillows and towels are also something i've heard other guys say is a good idea. Of course this assumes the girl is spending the night, but even a nice quality hand towel in the bathroom is a good idea.
            Last edited by Rembrt; May 29th, 2014, 01:06 AM.


            • #7
              Re: Dags Male Guide To A Welcoming Home

              Just don't be too clean! That will make us know that you prepared but also get rid of last year's sandwich in the fridge. That stinks. Eek!


              • #8
                Re: Dags Male Guide To A Welcoming Home

                I must say I am pretty impressed with the list!


                • #9
                  Re: Dags Male Guide To A Welcoming Home

                  And now the list for way northern New England ...
                  Meet her at the general store, no one has ever found your place & you need four wheel drive
                  Make sure the fire wood is brought in and the dog locked in the back porch
                  Don't light a candle you'll burn the place down, unless the power is out
                  Explain that your mother is living with you, and maybe brother too, when he gets out ...
                  Shovel a path to the out house and make sure there is TP
                  Hope she is ok with the chickens incubating in the living room and an iguana e th


                  • #10
                    Hey Guys, I've got a book coming up on a free promotion, i'd love to send this book as free gift if your able to check it out and leave an honest review. Thanks.


                    • #11
                      Really interesting...


                      • #12
                        I like the list
                        "I find this a fascinating phenomenon: the ability we have to manipulate ourselves so that the foundation of our beliefs is never shaken." Muriel Barbery