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What do you look for in a best friend?

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  • What do you look for in a best friend?

    Have you ever had a best friend? Do you currently still have one? What are the necessary requirements for someone to become your best friend, as opposed to a regular friend? Do they have to be available for you whenever you need emotional and financial support? Do the two of you have to agree about everything and support each other all the time?

  • #2
    Yes, it's my husband. Of course he is there for emotional and financial support but we don't lean on each other for it. We do not agree about everything and we support each other depending on the circumstances. I believe the requirements for friendships are fairly basic: remain genuine and truthful, honour each other and don't be a douche.

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    • #3

      Lucian Hodoboc Yes, I've been extremely blessed to have a best friend ever since I was 9 years old or in the 4th grade! My friend and her mom 'n pop 'n apple pie life provided a respite during my tumultuous childhood. My best friend and her family were the only glimmers I had in my youth. I had never forgotten.

      My requirements for a best friend are loyalty, longevity, consistency, respect, trust, integrity, graciousness, poise, sense of logic and reasoning and all virtues we hold dear. My best friend and I were close as children. Fortunately, we remained local, maintained ties during adulthood, she was my maid-of-honor, hosted my bridal shower, brought home cooked meals when I brought my infant sons home from the hospital, gave me wise counsel when I needed it and we get together about once a month on a regular basis. We take walks and dine out for lunch. Sometimes the 4 of us including our husbands go out for dinner but usually it's just my best friend and I every month.

      My best friend is there for emotional support and I for her. However, we don't help each other out financially since we never cross that line. Unfortunately, money support (lending / borrowing) can actually hinder or ruin friendships. My friendship endured with her because we've always treated each other with utmost grace, maturity, poise, courtesy, humility and respect.

      My best friend's father passed away recently so I gave her and her mother's household home cooked meals several times in addition to live orchids, money and my time. I helped at the post funeral buffet by providing entrees and desserts. She can count on me.

      I have regular friends and acquaintances in my life as well as "Good Time Charlies." Those are the types of friends who enjoy being with you when your life is gravy but when you're in a desperate situation, they won't have your back.

      Aside from my best friend from childhood, my husband is my best friend. We don't always agree about everything but at least we treat each other with respect.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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      • #4
        Trust, honesty and respect, basically, as all other things come from these.

        My best friend (and the only one I consider a real friend) and I are different in many aspects (she is a married woman, with two daughters, I'm a single male; she is a relatively devout Christian, I'm an atheist; she prefers Latin dance songs, I'm into Heavy Metal; she smokes, I do not; she drinks, I do not; she likes to party, I prefer to be on my own; etc.), but we have full trust in each other and respect each others opinions.

        We do support each other when needed (the last time was on Saturday, at work (we are work colleagues), when I was feeling bad and needed a little emotional support. We don't provide financial support because we don't have the capacity, being work colleagues has that problem, when the company is not doing that great (as has been the case this year) we both suffer financially, so we cannot really help each other, and I don't know how her husband would react if they needed it (as they do now) and I could help them, as I don't know him that well.

        Edited because I forgot honesty, sometimes thinking in a different language makes it difficult to remember all we want to say.
        Last edited by GrizzlyBear; December 9th, 2018, 02:59 PM.

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        • #5
          Yes, honesty is another great virtue. I forgot to write that one down but yes, I agree with GrizzlyBear . I guess I have a tall order when it comes to "best friends" or favorite people in my life. While I love honesty, of course, I also appreciate tact and grace in combination with honesty from my best friend and loved ones.

          I know some "honest" people in my life and while honesty is all well and good, if they LACK respectful interpersonal skills and the intelligence to remember how to behave with consideration in mind, then I keep my safe distance from them permanently. I love honesty like no other but it's not always what you say but how you say it otherwise it could rub people the wrong way. However, I agree, honesty, trust, respect is how people want to be treated.
          "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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