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My friend has been acting different and snarky towards me lately I find.

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  • My friend has been acting different and snarky towards me lately I find.

    I have a friend who would tease me for not knowing things about the world that most people know and she would just tease me and make fun of me because of living under a rock, or what not.

    But lately for the past maybe three months, she has gotten quite snarky with it, like she would tease me with it but she would tease me in a way, in which sounds snarky to me like she is judging me or something.

    I asked my gf who is always with me when I am around my friend, and my gf said she completely agrees and sees it that way too. My gf described it as, whenever she teases me about it, she slows down her voice and talks to me like I am dumb, as if she needs to slow down her voice for me to understand her properly, and it sounds more condescending when teasing, my gf said.

    I feel that her teasing me with the change of tone, compared to before, has been going on for the last three months maybe, and it has happened around the same time she started hanging out with me and my gf, where it was just me before.

    However, the timing may not have anything to do with it, and maybe just be a coincidence. I am just merely trying to guess what is different compared to before, and me having a gf is different. But that might not have anything to do with it at all.

    However, I have been forgetting a lot of things lately, cause of memory problems.

    And so maybe, I am just out of it, brainwise, which has caused her to act like that.

    But what do you think, or how should I approach this, if her possibly being more judging, is true?

  • #2
    There could be a possibility here that this girl secretly likes you. People tend to playfully tease someone they like, but now your gf is in the group and i think this girl may be jealous so her teasing is coming out rather aggressive and snarky. Sounds to me like she is trying to make you look bad or stupid in front of your gf.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by harmonica View Post
      I have a friend who would tease me for not knowing things about the world that most people know and she would just tease me and make fun of me because of living under a rock, or what not.

      But lately for the past maybe three months, she has gotten quite snarky with it, like she would tease me with it but she would tease me in a way, in which sounds snarky to me like she is judging me or something.

      I asked my gf who is always with me when I am around my friend, and my gf said she completely agrees and sees it that way too. My gf described it as, whenever she teases me about it, she slows down her voice and talks to me like I am dumb, as if she needs to slow down her voice for me to understand her properly, and it sounds more condescending when teasing, my gf said.

      I feel that her teasing me with the change of tone, compared to before, has been going on for the last three months maybe, and it has happened around the same time she started hanging out with me and my gf, where it was just me before.

      However, the timing may not have anything to do with it, and maybe just be a coincidence. I am just merely trying to guess what is different compared to before, and me having a gf is different. But that might not have anything to do with it at all.

      However, I have been forgetting a lot of things lately, cause of memory problems.

      And so maybe, I am just out of it, brainwise, which has caused her to act like that.

      But what do you think, or how should I approach this, if her possibly being more judging, is true?
      You split up with a gf over prenup stuff that a female friend advised you on.
      Your last issue was a female friend wanting you present at a charity event .
      Now you have an issue with a female friend being snarky.

      Is this the same female friend???

      Comment


      • #4
        I'd be more concerned about your memory problems than the friend. Have you got that looked after or is it being caused by lack of sleep?

        Regarding this friend, just leave her out of your get togethers. Why is she hanging around your gf and you so often? Are these school grounds?

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        • #5
          Well the memory problems are caused from insomnia I have had for a while. I didn't really realize it was effecting my memory till a few weeks ago, so I never told my friend that, and she didn't know.

          Originally posted by Maggiemay4791 View Post

          You split up with a gf over prenup stuff that a female friend advised you on.
          Your last issue was a female friend wanting you present at a charity event .
          Now you have an issue with a female friend being snarky.

          Is this the same female friend???
          That gf with the prenup issue was two years ago. This new gf is an entirely different one, and this female friend is a different one, than that one before. I didn't even know this female friend at the time of last gf, and didn't meet her until after the break up.

          But now I have a new gf, two years later.

          But yes this is the same friend from the charity event.

          Comment


          • #6
            harmonica Get checked out by the doctor regarding your memory problems. As for you friend, you need to dump her and get a few new friends or friend. Your friend and hopefully soon to be ex-friend is very condescending and disrespectful. Know the difference between how a real friend should treat you with dignity and integrity vs. an insincere friend who downgrades you.
            "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by harmonica View Post
              Well the memory problems are caused from insomnia I have had for a while. I didn't really realize it was effecting my memory till a few weeks ago, so I never told my friend that, and she didn't know.



              That gf with the prenup issue was two years ago. This new gf is an entirely different one, and this female friend is a different one, than that one before. I didn't even know this female friend at the time of last gf, and didn't meet her until after the break up.

              But now I have a new gf, two years later.

              But yes this is the same friend from the charity event.
              Ok so she is not a long term friend and in fact is a ďfriendĒ that you donít even like much.
              So ditch her. Donít approach her just dismiss her. Sheís not really worth keeping is she?

              Why do you gather female friends?

              Whats the the cause of your insomnia?
              Iím not convinced thatís the cause of memory loss?

              Comment


              • #8
                Who says I don't like my friend much? I think she is pretty cool, it's just recently she has been acting different for some reason.

                I have a group of friends and a couple of them are female, is there anything bad about that?

                Basically I am going through a lot of stress in my personal and career life, which has caused insomnia. I was told insomnia can effect memory and the memory started degrading after the insomnia, so I thought that was the cause.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Well my gf actually suggested that I should spend alone time with my friend and have a few one on one hang outs as test to see if she really is jealous of not having the one on ones, and that way we will know if that is the actual problem or not. Do you think that's a good idea though?

                  This weekend, my gf couldn't hang out with me last night cause she had plans to go to a concert, and I couldn't go with her, but I didn't like the band that was playing anyway. I asked her if it was okay if I hang out with my female friend without her, and me and my friend were going to go to a party later, with other friends of mine, and the gf was going to meet us there later.

                  My gf said sure. She also told me to see if she acts any different around me when she is not around. So I went to dinner with my friend, and I thought that she acted very different around me when it was me and her only there, compared to when she was with my me and gf. She didn't make any remarks that I found a little snarky, at all.

                  Later on when we went to the party, and met up with my friends and my gf, I felt that she was back to how she was before after a bit, and acting a little snarky towards me here and there.

                  I asked my gfs opinion if she was again, and my gf said she interpreted it that way too. What do you think based on this, since she was acting different towards me, when we were alone?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by harmonica View Post
                    Well my gf actually suggested that I should spend alone time with my friend and have a few one on one hang outs as test to see if she really is jealous of not having the one on ones, and that way we will know if that is the actual problem or not. Do you think that's a good idea though?

                    This weekend, my gf couldn't hang out with me last night cause she had plans to go to a concert, and I couldn't go with her, but I didn't like the band that was playing anyway. I asked her if it was okay if I hang out with my female friend without her, and me and my friend were going to go to a party later, with other friends of mine, and the gf was going to meet us there later.

                    My gf said sure. She also told me to see if she acts any different around me when she is not around. So I went to dinner with my friend, and I thought that she acted very different around me when it was me and her only there, compared to when she was with my me and gf. She didn't make any remarks that I found a little snarky, at all.

                    Later on when we went to the party, and met up with my friends and my gf, I felt that she was back to how she was before after a bit, and acting a little snarky towards me here and there.

                    I asked my gfs opinion if she was again, and my gf said she interpreted it that way too. What do you think based on this, since she was acting different towards me, when we were alone?

                    I stated this in my first comment. She is jealous when your gf hangs out with you because she secretly likes you. She tries to make you look bad to get your gf to change her opinion of you.

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                    • #11
                      Okay thanks. But what I don't get is, is that I was interested in dating my friend about two years ago, and I was single at the time, but she wasn't interested in kept me in the friend zone, so I accepted it and dated other women instead. But if she likes me in a romantic way, then why didn't she choose not to do anything about it this whole time, especially since I told her I was into her that way two years ago?

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                      • #12
                        I'm not sure. Maybe it's time to sit her down and ask her straight out what's going on.

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                        • #13
                          I'm guessing it's jealousy. Even though the friend wasn't interested in you romantically before, now that you have a girlfriend, she is jealous of that. Single people, in my experience, tend to feel jealousy towards couples sometimes, and they can sometimes "rain on your parade" because of those jealous feelings. She feels she can get away with it, since you have not put her in her place when she acts this way. I would suggest the next time she puts you down, you put her on the spot about it and ask her "why are you insulting me?" If she is forced to answer for her behavior in front of others, she may be more inclined to stop it.

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                          • #14

                            Okay thanks for your assessment on it.

                            Last weekend, I mentioned before, how me and her were hanging out for dinner by ourselves, and she was acting very nice towards me like she use to.

                            But then when we got to the party after and met my friends and my gf there, I felt she went right back to being kind of snarky towards me again. It wasn't quite as bad this time, since it was a party with other people, but the tone was still the same I thought.

                            At the party, she met one of my guy friends for the first time, and later I asked him his opinion on whether or not he saw her that way. He says he kind of maybe thought so, but wasn't sure if she was kidding or not, since he just met her and all.

                            Later on through the week, my friend girl was messaging him all throughout the week after they met at the party, and she asked him all these questions like what is like, what does he like to do, and she messages him a lot, he told me. He says he is feels that she is trying to get him interested in going out, but he is not interested in her. After a week of her messaging him, and him not messaging her back so much, she sent him a message saying how she hasn't had good sex in a long time. He said what do you mean... And she replied back saying she likes it rough, etc.

                            So I feel like she is definitely interested in my friend. However, since it was said on here, that she maybe is jealous of my relationship, which is why she was acting snarky, could her messaging my friend throughout the week, and talking to him about how she hasn't had good sex in a long time, have anything to do with that. Or is that possibly not at all related to how she is acting towards me, and is a completely separate thing likely?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I think she's jealous of your relationship, and that is why she is acting snarky to you. I think she is attracted to your friend and that is why she is coming on to him. I think if she were interested in you, she would be coming on to you regardless of whether you have a girlfriend or not.

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