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  • Jealousy with mother

    Hey guys! I just told my parents about my long distance relationship about two months ago, and my mom has been very wishy washy with it. At first she acted like she was happy, and now she's been treating me passive aggressively. She makes snide remarks a lot, and we got into a huge argument today over it. Me and my boyfriend have known each other for 6 years now, and my mom feels like i'm dumping her. I try my best to make time for them both, but you know with long distance relationships, you develop a schedule for when you can talk. Its not only that, I live in a very stressful household, and we basically take care of my sister's 4 year old son. I'm usually pretty stressed after coming back from talking to my mom, so I haven't been wanting to talk to her as much. I've told her this and she takes it the wrong way and blows up at me, so honestly talking does nothing for us. I feel like if I feel happy, she wants to make me miserable. Today was our two year anniversary, and that's when the fight happened and it makes me sad that my mom wants to shit all over the relationship. I get it that she's my mom and yeah spend time, but what do you do when they make you upset all the time? Is there any suggestions or anybody else going through this? Thanks!

  • #2
    Do you live with your mom?
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      bree20202 Despite your busy schedule, try to make the effort and time for your mother. Go for a walk, eat out, shop or have mother-daughter time together once a week outside home distractions a few times a month or once a month is better than nothing. Life is short. You never know when something might happen to your mother such as a car accident, becoming a victim of crime, poor health and / or death. You don't want to live with a world of regret knowing that you could have and should have spent quality time with her. Life is very busy but your family comes first and in this case, your mother.

      I'm a mother so I understand. Someday, I would love nothing more to spend time with my sons as I grow older.

      Your mother took care of you when you were little. Now it's your turn to take care of her.

      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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      • #4
        Originally posted by bree20202 View Post
        Hey guys! I just told my parents about my long distance relationship about two months ago, and my mom has been very wishy washy with it. At first she acted like she was happy, and now she's been treating me passive aggressively. She makes snide remarks a lot, and we got into a huge argument today over it. Me and my boyfriend have known each other for 6 years now, and my mom feels like i'm dumping her. I try my best to make time for them both, but you know with long distance relationships, you develop a schedule for when you can talk. Its not only that, I live in a very stressful household, and we basically take care of my sister's 4 year old son. I'm usually pretty stressed after coming back from talking to my mom, so I haven't been wanting to talk to her as much. I've told her this and she takes it the wrong way and blows up at me, so honestly talking does nothing for us. I feel like if I feel happy, she wants to make me miserable. Today was our two year anniversary, and that's when the fight happened and it makes me sad that my mom wants to shit all over the relationship. I get it that she's my mom and yeah spend time, but what do you do when they make you upset all the time? Is there any suggestions or anybody else going through this? Thanks!
        Have you met him in person?

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        • #5
          I think your mother may be worried about you. Try to level out your emotions and be a bit more realistic about your online/phone relationship. Conversations with family members are not always easy and can be stressful because there are very few filters if any. You're not very smart telling your mother you don't want to talk to her because she's stressing you out, in my opinion. Try to round out a comment like that in a way that is easier for the next person to receive. If the point is to make smooth transitions and have successful relationships, I think you should also try to work on your filter even if you find yourself losing your patience every now and then.

          I'm also going to put this out there: if this boyfriend or man online/on the phone doesn't understand your family relationships or commitments or your life in general and you're receiving pressure from him to behave in a certain way, be aware and don't stand for that kind of negative or controlling presence in your life. Have your priorities straightened out.
          Last edited by Rose Mosse; September 10th, 2018, 01:11 PM.

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          • #6
            Have you ever met this guy you're in a long distance "relationship" with?
            How long have you been in this long distance "relationship?
            How long is this going to remain long distance? When will you move to him or him move to be with you?

            If you mother is upset that you don't spend any time with her, just how much bloody time are you spending on the computer with this guy?
            "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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