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Am I mistaken with this Friendship ?

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  • Am I mistaken with this Friendship ?

    It was a few months ago that my bf and I met him through a friend. Although, we did not like him first we hired his service. I have had a few chats with him and gradually, I began to like him. I do like him for the way he is. He is not handsome or attractive. I began to think of him as a friend. He told me if I needed any help I could just contact him. And, so I did when I needed some assistance. I messaged him. He read it but never replied. Sometimes, he made me feel he liked me because once I saw him with his friend he chose to ignore me and his friends had a funny smile on them. When I came across him down the street he promised he would come around to do the work while I said I could find an alternative if he was busy. He said he will message or call me before coming. But he never did.

    Why do some people behave like this? Is he trying to fool around with me? Or does he have feelings for me and my being engaged is keeping him away? I am trying to forget him now although we come across a few times a month. What are your thoughts?
    Last edited by NotSoCute; September 6th, 2018, 06:58 PM.

  • #2
    NotSoCute This is a business arrangement. He needs a job so he can eat. I wouldn't think too hard about this guy. He has no serious intentions to pursue you. My thoughts are for you to remain cordial yet distant in a well-mannered, polite way. I wouldn't think anymore of it. Just go with the flow. Treat him the way he treats you. Over time, see where it takes you but I wouldn't have any high hopes in the meantime otherwise you will be disappointed should things not go your way as you had anticipated. Remain even keel and "blah" about this situation.

    If he were truly interested in you, he would behave with more enthusiasm but since he leaves you hanging and confused all the time, write him off IMHO.
    "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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    • #3
      Pardon - am I missing something. Why are you engaged, hon?

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      • #4
        My thoughts are that you're a narcissist who needs attention.

        You're engaged and entertaining romantic thoughts about a tradesperson?
        "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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        • #5
          I think English may not be her first language.

          In any event, he's not interested in you or doing work for you so stop contacting him and ignore him if you see him when you're out.
          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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          • #6
            Originally posted by NotSoCute View Post
            It was a few months ago that my bf and I met him through a friend. Although, we did not like him first we hired his service. I have had a few chats with him and gradually, I began to like him. I do like him for the way he is. He is not handsome or attractive. I began to think of him as a friend. He told me if I needed any help I could just contact him. And, so I did when I needed some assistance. I messaged him. He read it but never replied. Sometimes, he made me feel he liked me because once I saw him with his friend he chose to ignore me and his friends had a funny smile on them. When I came across him down the street he promised he would come around to do the work while I said I could find an alternative if he was busy. He said he will message or call me before coming. But he never did.

            Why do some people behave like this? Is he trying to fool around with me? Or does he have feelings for me and my being engaged is keeping him away? I am trying to forget him now although we come across a few times a month. What are your thoughts?
            He is not a friend. He is someone you AND your fiancÚ hired to do some work.
            Maybe he prefers to deal with your fiancÚ when it comes down to hiring and paying for a service.

            Why are you TRYING to forget someone who fixed a broken tap? Or whatever he did.

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