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Brother in law

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  • Brother in law

    I'm getting married soon to someone who has a twin sister, whose husband I get on well with. They have been married a couple of years. I go out with him now and again with some of his mates.

    A couple of months ago, when we were in a club, after we'd been drinking most of the day, I noticed he'd taken his wedding ring off. This is a replacement wedding ring after he'd lost his original one, again on a night out, though he'd passed it off as not being sure what had happened to it.

    I'm thinking of having a man to man talk with him this weekend, to tell him A) that I wouldn't be happy having this on my conscience if this were to happen again when I am married to his wife's sister, and B) to consider trying to break the habit of taking it off when out.

    The four of us are very close. I'm sure he wouldn't go any further but know that his wife would be upset if she knew this was happening.

    Am I doing the right thing?

  • #2
    What exactly are you worried about?
    The fact that he might lose his wedding ring, or the symbolic significance of taking his ring off one a night out and therefor attracting women who believe he's single and potentially cheating on his wife?
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf


    • #3
      Thanks for your reply. It would be the symbolic significance of attracting women, however I don't believe he would actually go and cheat on his wife. Probably more so for self - ego


      • #4
        I'd probably have a word with him but more out of curiosity. I think there's no harm in it and it might actually help YOU more than the situation itself if you understood why he does it. Be prepared that you cannot control people especially when it comes to matters of love. Cornering anyone especially in a blame game or when calling someone out on an error or mistake, some finesse is required. Don't demote yourself to that person in the family who starts assuming bullshit or meddling where he/she isn't wanted. Be classy and provocative if you like and start a conversation but don't charge in thinking you're the holy Pope about to dissolve their marriage.


        • #5
          I'd ask him in front of his wife why he took his wedding ring off when out the other night? The idiot already lost one trying to look single when he's not. (half kidding)

          I'll add by asking: Have you spoken to your wife about what her twin sister's husband does with his ring? If so, what does she suggest you do? If not, why not?
          Last edited by phasesofthemoon; July 23rd, 2018, 09:24 PM.
          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


          • #6
            Yorklad As long as your BIL isn't bothering you or your wife, I'd MYOB IMHO. I wish we could swap problems regarding my BIL! Don't get involved with your BIL's preference regarding his wedding ring. That's his business and between him and his wife.
            "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."