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Toxic Trio

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  • Toxic Trio

    I have a bit of a friend crisis. I am in a toxic trio friendship where one girl (we’ll call her Sam) is obsessed with this guy (we’ll call him David) who is friends with both of us. Basically she’s buying his friendship by driving him around everywhere, paying for dinner for them, etc. She plans things without me and doesn’t invite me, and then openly tells me about the fun things were doing together. David doesn’t refuse her though. He still talks to her and hangs out with her without me, but he doesn’t like talking about it, almost like he’s trying to hide it from me. I found out today that she bought the two of them front row tickets to see a Broadway show-without me. She told me about it today, and told me not to tell him because “it’s a surprise.” I hope I’m not overreacting, but I’m pissed because I’ve known her for over a year and a half, and one time I literally talked with her on the phone for four hours when she got deferred from her top college. He’s the new kid and she’s known him for only a few months, but i know she would never invite me to do something like that with me. What’s worse is that they still actively seek me out, almost like they’re using me for some kind of validation. They both compliment me and say I’m beautiful and talented and laugh at my jokes...and then they go off and have dinner over the weekend. They feed off of each other’s toxicity, and sometimes it feels like he’s just using her for a ride (he doesn’t have a license) and she’s using him for validation, and they’re using me to make them feel like good people, and I’m using them to feel better about myself because they always compliment me and are nice to me and stuff. It’s just a cycle of toxicity, and I don’t know how to get out of it because we all go to high school together, sit at lunch together, etc. I don’t want to seem rude, or like the girl who just cut off her friends halfway through senior year. At the same time, I can’t continue to be treated like this. Any advice for this toxic trio?

  • #2
    I'm sorry I don't see anything toxic in this situation except your jealousy. The two of them are having fun together but you can't stand it because you feel you should be part of their group. Well, they simply don't want you there and would like to hang out alone together. In highschool things can be taken out of context and people get insulted over small issues because the world appears small. It's only as big as the people you go to school with. Just think for a minute and ask yourself what is so wrong with two friends doing things independently without you.

    My suggestion to you would be to mingle and make friends in other groups and make time hanging out with other people. I think you're too much in this headspace with these two and you just sound bitter and irritable because others are having fun.


    • #3
      How does a high school girl afford two tickets to a Broadway play?
      "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


      • #4
        Where did you get the idea that your friends are obligated to include you in every activity?
        There's nothing toxic about what they are doing. If anything, you're the toxic person in this trio because you're jealous of the fact that your friends are having fun and enjoying each others company.
        They like spening time together. Without you. Get over it.
        You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf