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Upset over my daughterís breakup

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  • Upset over my daughterís breakup

    Iím wondering if anyone else out there has experienced this. My 14-year old daughter was involved in a very safe and fully chaperoned relationship with a boy her age for a bit over a year. Things were good for the most part, until he began to act strange and accuse my daughter of cheating. He dumped her a few weeks back and within two weeks, he had a new relationship, which of course is plastered all over social media. My heart is breaking for my
    kid, and Iím having a hard time dealing with this. My daughter is heartbroken, and, more importantly, has lost her confidence and self-esteem. I realize with these young romances, they donít seem to last and heartbreaks is inevitable and part of growing up, but it is hard for me to get past this.

  • #2
    Good grief. How are you going to react when she has REAL issues in her life?

    Be a role model. Don't indulge her sadness by allowing her to wallow in self pity. Teach her how to deal with life's many hardships by moving forward. Confidence and self-esteem don't come from the outside. What are you doing to ensure that she has confidence in herself? What activities is she involved in? What personal skills is she developing?
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      In addition to what Sarah said, you might consider suggesting that she might not be ready for relationships yet as she needs to be more confident in herself and have a better sense of her own self-worth.

      Where is her father?

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      • #4
        I agree with Sarah: Buck up and show her how to not be sad that a twit like him doesn't deserve to be cried over. Tell her that SHE is the prize and that if he can't see that then she is better off finding out now so she can heal and get over him. Tell her not to creep his social media and to block and delete him if she's tempted to hold onto him through social media.

        I know it hurts us to see our kids hurting but don't coddle her for too long on this, instead help her to see that she can do better and she certainly will since she's only 14.

        I also agree that at 14 she likely wasn't ready to be dating even if it was under the watchful eyes of a chaperone. He likely broke up with her because he couldn't get past first base with her. Most 14 year old boys don't want to be chaperoned when hanging with a girl they like.

        Does the new girl he's with have chaperones when she's out with him?

        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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        • #5
          Oh my goodness! YOU are having a hard time dealing with this?
          Geez it sounds like you are making matters worse? You are not her friend , you are her role model!
          Teach her!

          My 14 yr old niece has been in about 3 relationships this year lol . She hasn't kissed any of them. Nor met them one on one, just in a group at the shopping mall etc.
          She broke it off with one of them and he tried to spread rumours about her etc on social media. She confided in me and not her mum , my sister. The guy also 14 sent her a video of himself wanking.
          He then called her and I answered, told him to fuck off or I'd tell his mother what he is up to. Done and dusted, he left her alone lol.

          At 14 you encouraged the relationship by allowing one on one dates even if chaperoned. If you had just let them meet in group settings, movies , shopping etc with friends it would have fizzled out in a matter of weeks or months.

          Stop encouraging her and let her be a child.
          Go to her social media yourself and block the guy.
          Build her confidence to be strong and cut ties.
          Tell her the old "you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince" whatever lol

          im in my 40's and my mother still to this day talks about each and everyone of my exes.
          its so freakin annoying !

          Dont be like my mother haha

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          • #6
            Time is the best healer. Your daughter needs to stay involved in her usual activities and confide in her friends.
            Website Removed

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            • #7
              This OP, like most, opened a thread and then didn't bother to come back to it. It's a month old and nary a word back from 'Mom.'
              "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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