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Wife's guy best friend is obsessed with her.

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  • Wife's guy best friend is obsessed with her.

    My wife has a friend who is obsessed with her. They live far apart so most of the communication is by Facebook or messenger. She has no attraction for him, but he let her know many years ago that he was attracted to her and even tried it on with her. The problem is that he posts on her Facebook page posts about how she's his best friend and he loves her and that she is his twin flame. He messages her regularly, he obsessed over her and she doesn't think so, she has been told this by her parents. I have even asked him to stop, but it never lasts long. To top it off, he was her mentor in BDSM. What do I do?

  • #2
    I was feeling sympathy with you until I read the BDSM thing.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      Thats pretty woerd if i have to say so myself. My question would be how does your wife value their friendship? Is he her best friend? Is he more of just an aquaintence? The bdsm thing would urk me a bit. I would talk to your wife again about how it makes you feel and try and put your foot down in regards to their communication if it is something truly bothersom to you. If its completely innocent, i wouldnt worry too much about it, but i would monitor the situation.

      help with mine? https://www.relationship-forums.com/...-way-too-needy

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      • #4
        Hm that's interesting. I agree with Sarah that the post took a sudden turn with the BDSM and made less sense. How do you mentor someone in BDSM without having a sexual history together? You just tell your best friend "And then you get down on all fours and lick their shoes...hypothetically!!!" All that aside- I definitely understand how it bothers you. If your wife isn't paying it much mind and entertaining not too much then just file this under "Miscellaneous Fans" and let him fade out someday. You'll have to just see if your wife plays into it too much or not (like responding to all his posts like LOVE YOU TOO!!! MISS YOU SO!!!! #twinflame!!!) then you'll have to calmly and respectfully have a discussion about your boundaries and feeling dishonored.
        "I hope that this'll does it" -Ricky Ricardo

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        • #5
          I didn't know that one needed a coach for such things.
          "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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          • #6
            I only seen the replies now, things have been a bit stressed.
            My wife was a dom and never did the things that submissives do, so she had no contact with him other than him showing her the ropes, so to speak. Since I last posted here I was so worried that I did a background check on him and my uncomfortable suspicionswere right, he's a SEX OFFENDER.
            During the summer I asked her best friend if he was trying to come between us and he didn't answer me, I told my wife and she asked him and he said that I didn't ask him. She said to him that she believes him because she knows he doesn't lie. I was heart broken. She makes excuses for him for everything. She even tried to about him being a sex offender and she asked him out straight and she couldn't find any. Now she's not friends with him.
            Two weeks ago I was in LA on a 5 day break with my wife. One of her friends she knows in person said on Facebook that I needed to educate myself because I didn't agree with his views on something. He said that I had to learn myself about my own country and it's troubles.
            Last edited by Medal; June 1st, 2017, 04:51 AM.

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            • #7
              I'm very uncomfortable with the BDSM. She says she regrets it now. I'm living in Arizona and from Ireland.
              Last edited by Medal; June 1st, 2017, 04:50 AM.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Medal View Post
                Now she's not friends with him.
                Is the situation now resolved then? If she has stopped talking to him?



                Originally posted by Medal View Post
                Two weeks ago I was in LA on a 5 day break with my wife. One of her friends she knows in person said on Facebook that I needed to educate myself because I didn't agree with his views on something. He said that I had to learn myself about my own country and it's troubles.
                WTF has this got to do with anything?


                Also, hopefully this time it won't take you 6 months to respond


                Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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                • #9
                  The point I'm making is that she defends others over me and that upsets me. The guy insulted me and she made excuses for him.

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                  • #10
                    The thing to do with her ex best friend is that it took her to realise he was a sex offender and until then she took his word over mine. He lied about me and she believed him, wouldn't that upset any husband?

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                    • #11
                      I thought the situation was resolved until the other thing happened in LA and now I'm concerned because is she always going to make excuses for others over me?

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