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Betrayed by my Brother

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  • Betrayed by my Brother

    I'm not sure if this is the place to post this but I don't know of a thread more fitting. I'm also not using real names but it makes the story easier to follow.


    A week ago I found out my brother (Greg) had an affair with my ex-fiance.


    Long story, short. My ex-fiance (Amy) and I had gone out for almost seven years. We were engaged for almost a year. Four years ago I caught Amy having sex with our neighbor in my bed. I kicked her out. A week later she came back begging for another chance. Stupid of me I gave her another chance. Not even two weeks later I caught her sexting yet another man. So I dumped her for good.


    Fast forward to a week ago. My current fiance (Sarah) and I were passing through the city where Greg lived. We had plans to meet Greg, and my dad for a later supper later on in the day. To pass time we went to the mall. I ran into Greg and Amy. IT was awkward enough with my fiance being there. Luckily Amy found an excuse to leave the mall. My brother admitted that he and Amy were dating. I admitted it bothered me when he said that but I let it go because I was happy and committed in a relationship with Sarah. We went to supper with Greg and my dad. I slipped and mention Amy and Greg to my dad. My dad did not understand and told Greg it was inappropriate. Now I made my brother embarrassed and my fiance uncomfortable. Everything seemed to be fine between my brother and I.


    Later that night when Sarah and I left the city, my brother texted me. He was irate. Telling me I was worthless, and that it was only a matter of time before Sarah left me. I didn't understand where this was coming from. I told him again that I was sorry for bring it up to our dad about his fling with Amy. Anyway, turns out my dad yelled at him and made a fool of him in the parking lot after we left. The next morning he text me to tell me that the last year of my relationship with Amy he and her had a thing going on and that they had been together ever since. Never mind, he had a girlfriend. Sarah saw the message. Without telling me she messages Amy, and she confirmed that she had been seeing my brother for a good year before we broke up.


    I'm over Amy, so there is no questions there. However, I feel so betrayed by my brother. How could he sleep with Amy? I thought dealing with her affairs was difficult but this feels so much worse. I haven't talked to him in over a week. He keeps blowing up my social media with angry messages and is taunting me. I had to block him. In a few months is my sisters wedding and I don't know if I can face him. Not to mention I'm getting married in September and he was suppose to be my best man. This whole situation sucks and I don't know what to do about it.

  • #2
    Re: Betrayed by my Brother

    What does your father say about it all? What does he suggest you do?

    Amy sounds like a right skank to be honest and I'm wondering what is missing in your brother that he would want to be with she that is putrid?

    Anyway: Why is your brother so mad at you for simply bringing it up. Surely he didn't expect to keep their relationship a secret forever and its not your fault your father is angry at him for his piss poor choice(s)?

    BTW: Uhm, how did Sarah get Amy's number to text her behind your back?
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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    • #3
      Re: Betrayed by my Brother

      Your brother's a pig and Amy is a skank. You didn't do anything wrong--except take Amy back the first time.

      Your brother's looking to blame everyone else for his disgusting behavior. Don't engage in the argument and don't apologize. Eventually he'll run out of gas and, hopefully start to examine is own behavior. But don't hold your breath.

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      • #4
        Re: Betrayed by my Brother

        Originally posted by Pollon View Post
        Your brother's a pig and Amy is a skank. You didn't do anything wrong--except take Amy back the first time.
        I totally agree, except I'd perhaps pick some stronger and more offensive four letter words to describe your brother!

        Don't miss your sister's wedding over this. It sounds like your Dad is on your side, so if I was you I would explain to him (and maybe even your sister) about the nasty things that your brother has been messaging you, and why you don't want to engage with him at the wedding. This way when you attend they will all understand the situation.

        If anyone should miss out it should be him, you've done nothing wrong here.

        Of course, a betrayal of this kind is very hurtful and confusing. I've been through something similar myself. All I can say is that time really is a healer, and you will feel more at peace with it eventually. I'd advise that you keep your brother cut out from your life as it appears he has shown his true colours, but that's up to you. I know it's difficult to decide to leave a close family member behind.

        Finally, close off the conversation between your current fiance and your ex/brother. Nothing good will come from those talks.
        Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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