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CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

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  • #46
    Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

    Cuts and scrapes do heal on their own if left clean and undisturbed, but it goes faster with neosporin. Similarly, there are things you can do to get you a speedier recovery
    %0|%0

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    • #47
      Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

      7) Realize that you’re single, and hence, FREE! No more getting dirty looks
      at parties when you dance with another girl,

      no more buying stupid flowers to apologize for something.
      You’re FREEEEEEEE!

      ... AMEN

      "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
      - Martin Luther King, Jr
      The Business of Pleasure...
      [link removed]

      Comment


      • #48
        Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

        Originally posted by Palmer of the Turks View Post
        #1a is vital, in my opinion.

        The bit about emotions winning out is TOO true.
        When you've just broken up (ESPECIALLY if you were the dumpee), you feel like shit, and being with someone makes you feel good. It's hard to avoid.

        #8 does help with it a lot though

        But seriously... #1a is one of the most important items on that list.

        If you get back together quickly., it's nothing more than a rebound, seriously.
        Really?
        You think if you truly loved someone, you could have a rebound a few days after the breakup?
        Wouldn't you feel guilty?
        During my last breakup, i had 3 rebounds in line. I rejected the 3 girls simply because:

        1 - I still loved my ex. The thought of being/kissing someone else disgusted me. I knew it wouldn't make me happy, in fact, it'd make me sadder.

        2 - If me and my ex got back together, it'd make me feel like shit. "Oh yea. when we broke up, i started dating and sexing this girl. hope you don't mind. I do love you though and i was thinking of you all along, i just couldnt control myself, i wanted sex"

        3 - It's slutty/whorish. "Gee. Me and my ex just broke up few weeks ago and here i am about to have sex with this person i dont even know well. But who cares, it feels so good"


        7) Realize that you’re single, and hence, FREE!
        Really? If you're so happy to be single, then you must've not liked your ex much. "Holy fuck i am single now, sweet. Now i can do all the things ive wanted to do while i was with my ex. I can go ahead and sex the cute boy in math class that ive always wanted"



        Half that list is BS. My 2c though. Don't care if anyone agree or have the same views.

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        • #49
          Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

          hello..my name is sarah..27 years old...until today, i`ve change 3 boyfriend ( playgirl hah! )...okay, i have read all the comment about how to get your ex back..what can i say here is all the suggestion given by experienced people around here is totally true 100%..furthermore, i have used some of the advices to get my 3rd boyfriend back..however, I bought e-book online at that time to know how to get my ex back..for the first week, i read the book and try to understand it..2nd week, I start to act as the instruction in that book..seriously, i got bored when my ex did not give a feedback to me..but i never give up, i read the book repeatedly,2-3 times, and finally at week 5, my boyfriend invite me to have a dinner with him for the first time after we break up....yes...it works..we have XXX at that night.. in the tomorrow morning, he ask me a forgiveness from what he have done to me when we break up..after that, we become a sweetest couple ever..he has changed a lot after we start a new relationship..oh my god, my dream come true..

          this is a summary of my mission to get my boyfriend back..

          1st week - buy e-book online, read and try to understand the content
          2nd week- start to act..(no response)
          3rd week - reread the book..start to act..(got phone call from him)
          4th week - reread the book, read...read...and read....
          5th week - got invitation to dinner, have wonderful xxx together
          6th week - he become 100% mine

          so, what I can identify here a different between my effort and others effort to get their ex back are :

          i. I invest some money ( buy e-book ) to find out how I got my ex back. So, i really appreciate the book and use it 100% in order to get my ex back (this book is give a detail instruction). Otherwise, if you get a free advice, you may not take it seriously.

          ii. I never give up..Although he did not give a feedback to me, I still do something to get him back.

          iii. I believe that my fate is to live with him..

          that is some of my opinion for today..you can ask me some question about this and i will try to help..by the way, i have made a blog about this thing, you can visit it at couples-bible dot blogspot dot com. Please pray for my happiness with my boyfriend..we plan to get married this November:eusa_whis

          Comment


          • #50
            Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

            1. LET GO: Yes, I said LET GO. No matter how much you love and care for your ex, as long as you stay attached to them and are hoping/praying for a second chance, you will not follow the rest of the guideline and heal completely unless you first truly let go. The reason for this is allow your heart to heal, to focus on self-reflection and improvement and to get your mind and body in a state of happiness. No second chance will work if you are still pining and miserable over losing your ex.

            2. NO CONTACT: That means exactly what it says. For the first month or two, you must never contact your ex under any circumstances. If you do, you will have to start the process over again. That means no emails/text/drunk dialing, etc. Now, that doesn't mean if they contact you that you should never reply (chose wisely) but if you do, make sure to keep any replies short, sweet and to the point. Take your time before replying, even several days. It's good to sleep on an email before replying so you have a clear head and are not replying with a ton of emotion. Never discuss the relationship during your healing phase and above all, DO NOT STALK YOUR EX. Do not try and find information about them. Whatever is going on in their life, you can't handle the information right now. Stay away from their web pages, blogs, etc. Don't talk to mutual friends (trust me, they will share any negative comments) Ignorance is bliss. Don't focus on who they are with and what they are doing. It will only torture you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and while they may be living it up with the new person in their life, chances are it's a rebound for them as well. It may take up to six months to a year for their new person's bad side to show through. In the meantime if you screw it up by clinging to them, bad mouthing them or otherwise stalking them, you will only serve to push them away even further. If you share a child with an ex, complete NC will be hard. Any conversations with your ex should focus on the child(ren) and remain, short, sweet and to the point. Absolutely no talk about the relationship. Remember that any conversations with your ex should be a pleasurable one. That is what they will remember.

            3. DO NOT BE FRIENDS: It is impossible to be friends with someone you are deeply in love with. It just won't work. All it will do is show your ex that you will accept second class treatment (in which any respect you had at that point from them will be lost). In addition it will delay your healing process. The longer you cling to hope, the longer it will take for you to truly let go and complete the healing process. Respect precedes love and you can not respect someone who doesn't respect themselves first. And you can not make someone happy if you can not make yourself happy. Remember, all the good/healthy feelings you want your ex to feel about you will only come if you feel them about yourself first - and believe it.

            4. FOCUS ON YOU: Allow for the normal grieving process, of course. How long it takes it completely dependent on you. The period of NO CONTACT will go a long way toward helping you focus on yourself and your healing. It doesn't matter what your ex is doing right now or who they are seeing. You need to let go of things you have no control over and unfortunately in your case, you are no longer dating so all you have left is you.

            5. RE-ACQUAINT YOURSELF WITH FRIENDS: Pick up your phone book or email list and start making contact with friends you haven't hung out with lately. Get out of the house and go hang out with them. Right now you're feeling down and out and a little quality time with your friends will go a long way towards healing your spirit. Do talk about the relationship with them if you wish, but don't dwell on it. If they are friends with your ex, realize anything you say (good or bad) will get back to them. Focus more on what they did to get over and ex and listen to any positive advice they give you. Primarily though you want to invest the time with friends to get your mind OFF your ex and more on fun and bonding. Make new friends as well.

            6. GET TO THE GYM: It's a proven fact that no drug works better at getting someone out of depression faster than endorphins. I do not believe the old adage "The best way to get over someone is to get UNDER someone else." If your head is not in the right place, some meaningless sex will only make you miss the ex even more. While you have the feeling of being lonely, sex isn't the answer. At least not right now. Companionship is what you are missing and in the interim, talk to you friends and work out.

            7. DIVE INTO HOBBIES

            8. PUT THE DRINK/DRUGS DOWN: Yes, it's ok to occasionally go out with friends and have a drink, but don't over-do it. Drinking heavily leads to depression which will not only delay your healing process.

            9. REBUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM: It's normal to be dumped and have your self-esteem and confidence take a hit. Those who recover the fastest are those who have the strongest self of self-worth. Many relationships end in failure and not all of us were meant to be together. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you focus on your needs and rebuild your confidence and self-esteem, the sooner you will recover - and be stronger.

            10. UNDERSTAND WHAT WENT WRONG: Instead of focusing on what your Ex did to cause the demise of the relationship, focus on learning a lesson and improving where you can. If you became clingy, then rebuild your confidence. Understand that you don't NEED someone in your life. You can and will live fine without them. You must never NEED someone, only want them. I can not emphasize personal improvement enough. Almost every aspect of our life in regards to success can be directly attributed to our confidence and self-esteem. At healthy levels, we will find much success in everything we do. When the levels are below healthy, we often find failure. Not because of the situation, but because of how we viewed ourselves. If you are a clingy guy, some essential reading: "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and any of "David DeAngelo's" stuff. Pay less attention to the pickup lines and focus on his insistence on confidence and self-esteem. He's dead right on everything he says in regards to confidence. Remember boys: No woman respects a man who constantly kisses her ass. The same can be said of women. If you kiss a mans ass, he will lose interest in you quickly. You must have mutual respect for each other and that can not be had with ass-kissing.

            11. LEARN BOUNDARIES: Boundaries are essential for anyone with healthy confidence, self respect and self-esteem. Learn to make boundaries clear from the start of a relationship and have repercussions for crossing them. When you set a boundary, it is imperative for you to follow through on your actions. If you make it clear to someone you are dating that if they say they are going to meet you somewhere at a certain time and don't, make it clear it better not happen again. People whom you allow to cross your boundaries with no repercussions will lose respect for you and continue to cross them. Remember again, RESPECT PRECEDES LOVE. Without respect, there can not be love. Read "Love Must Be Tough" for more information on boundaries and why they are essential. Boundaries are not just for relationships. They are essential at home, at work and throughout your life.

            12. NEVER TELL YOURSELF NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU: That's a self-defeatist attitude that not only will keep you down, but is just outright WRONG. There is someone out there that will love you in the way you want. You just have to find them. And you certainly won't find them if you are wallowing in self-doubt and pity. Pick yourself up by your bootstraps! You have plenty to live for and while no one likes to go through a bad breakup, it's almost an essential part of life. How else are you going to learn the lessons of love without going through the hard knocks? Trust me, as long as you learn something from the relationship and self-improvement you are almost guaranteed greater success the next time. You will have learned valuable lessons to guide your future relationships. And, if you have rebuilt your confidence and self-esteem you will naturally attract those with the same qualities. Remember (especially guys) that attraction while initially might be based on looks will never last without you have strong confidence and self-esteem. However, you can attract and keep a great woman in your life without having great looks, as long as you do have strong confidence and self-esteem.

            13. ACCEPT THAT SOME THINGS JUST AREN'T MEANT TO BE: Keep in mind that you may follow this guideline to a "T" and in the end and still the may never come back. Some people are just not meant to be together. But don't get discouraged. Use this experience to guide all future relationships. How much do you love your ex? Do you love them enough to want them to be happy even if it's not with you? To me, that is the true test of love. Not only do you love them unconditionally, warts and all, but that you want them to be happy with or without you. There is someone out there for you, but until your confidence and self-esteem is at healthy levels, until your life is full of happiness and fun, until you realize that you have to be happy before you can make anyone else happy, you won't find them. People with all those positive attributes don't have to look for a mate, they usually find them

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            • #51
              Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

              6) Realize that you don't HAVE to be part of a couple to be a worthwhile person. You are wonderful all by yourself, thankyouverymuch, and you are quite capable of taking care of yourself. You don't need no stinkin' SO. You may want one, but you'll survive without one.
              I especially love this bit. Man..im going to print that off and show it to my girlfriends at school! This thread is wonderful.The next time i have a breakup im reading this thread. kudos to you!

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              • #52
                Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

                this rli helped me thanks (:

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                • #53
                  Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

                  This is a fantastic thread. I think the FIRST step in getting over an ex is to ACCEPT that the relationship is over as you knew it. That doesn't mean you won't ever have a relationship with that person, but the one you did have as you knew it is over, because it just wasnt working.

                  Then you let go. Then you have no contact. The MOST important step you can take to get over an ex is to realize that you have a choice in the matter. You can take proactive steps to get over them if you want. Once you accept that it's over, then you can become proactive in your healing.

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                  • #54
                    Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

                    this is a nice thread... great read here

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

                      1. Examine what happened, and ask yourself why. You have to make it clear to yourself that this may not be entirely your fault - or not your fault at all. Really thinking about the reasons it ended can make it clearer to you that it takes two people to start a relationship, but one discordant person is enough to end it. It may also help you avoid missteps in the future if you can identify areas where you contributed to the demise of the relationship.
                      2. Don't rethink your decision. If the breakup was your decision, bear in mind that thinking about all the good times you had may cause you to forget the reason for why you broke it off. By the same token, try not to second guess if the decision to end things was not yours. It's very common to overly romanticize the good parts of a relationship, convincing yourself that maybe the bad parts weren't so bad after all, maybe you could live with them. Or that maybe if your ex could know just how you feel, s/he wouldn't want to break up after all. Don't play this game with yourself. Accept the situation and move on.
                      3. Keep your distance. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, take a complete break from each other immediately after the breakup. That means no seeing each other, no phone calls, no e-mails, no Instant Messaging, and most importantly, no sex - not necessarily as a permanent measure (except where sex is concerned), but until you feel that you can converse with him/her like a normal person, without an ulterior motive (and yes, wanting to get back together counts as an ulterior motive). Also, if he or she tries to ask you to see him/her, make sure you question yourself of what good can come out of it. You don't want to relive the past by seeing him/her otherwise you'll get caught up by that moment and it will be hard to let go again.
                      4. Accept your pain. Have your good long cries if you feel like it. It's okay to be hurt, feel alone, and feel like you have messed up. Accepting responsibility for your mistakes or shortcomings is healthy, but you must also accept that you are a good person, and this is not all one-sided. Of course, a stage of denial is completely natural, but acceptance is the key to being able to begin to move on.
                      5. Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively. Go ahead and mull it over, as many times as necessary, within reason. Consider all the reasons you two broke up. Even if it seems there wasn't a good reason, there certainly was one - and probably more than one. Understand that you enjoyed one another for a while, but even though everything seemed okay to you, if the relationship was not what your partner wanted for life, it would have ended eventually, no matter what. In this case, better sooner than later.
                      6. Deal with the hate phase. This is where you want to just scream because you are so angry, even furious. The amount of anger you feel all depends on how bad the split was, how it occurred (was there infidelity? That makes it worse), and how long it took to make the final break. There may be feelings of resentment at your ex for wasting your time. You may realize the breakup was inevitable (hindsight will reveal clues you failed to notice at the time). You may even feel like you hate yourself, but let go of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time to be hating and ripping yourself apart over something you no longer have the power to change.
                      7. Talk to your friends. They are always a source of advice and help. If you are close with any family members, they may be a good source of advice/guidance. You want people around you that love you and who will help you see that you should love yourself too. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, loving friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile, worthy person again, and you'll find it easier to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around you in a comforting net.
                      8. Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or write poems. Most of all, be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring out your thoughts onto paper. Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to "get" valuable life lessons from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it all with your heart open to both joy and pain. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be. Allow at least the learning part to enrich your life.
                      9. Clean up! A breakup can signify a new beginning. Therefore, cleaning your personal space will leave you feeling refreshed and prepared for the new things to come. A mess can be overwhelming and depressing, and will just add to your stress level. The added bonus is that keeping busy with tidying your space doesn't require a lot of brain power, but does require just enough focus to keep you from recycling pain. Occupying yourself with these tasks designed to make your life better and easier will also occupy your mind enough to help you through the residual pain.
                      10. Keep fond memories, discard painful ones. Sometimes there are things that remind us of another person. Say, you hear a song or see a picture that reminds you of your ex, you probably get all sad and worked up. Well, instead of feeling that way, turn the station and move on - don't dwell on the pain. But if you have a keepsake, such as a watch or a pin that was given to you by your ex, and it makes you feel good to wear it and remember the good parts of your relationship, by all means, do so.
                      11. Find happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, taking up that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that a relationship is one part of life, but even when you are in one, there are personal pleasures that you can always enjoy on your own. Indulge in those things now. As they say, the best revenge is living well.
                      12. Stay active. It's scientifically confirmed that exercise improves your mood, and the distraction will help keep your mind off the situation. Go running outside, maybe with a friend, and think of releasing the anger or sadness with every step.
                      13. Let go. See that there is no sense in still being heartbroken, regretful, and harboring hatred toward that person. Realize that although your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways, you can congratulate yourself for being brave enough to take a risk and fall in love, and encourage your heart that even though love didn't work out this time, there will be a next time.
                      14. Take Time. Find a place where you feel comfortable, relaxed, and which is far away from your ex. Take a moment to listen, and to be alone or with someone you trust. Remind yourself that the only thing worse than the pain of a breakup is continuing a relationship that was not right for one or both of you.
                      15. Think positively. Now that you are single, you get to find someone else to go out with,find someone new, and different. This doesnt have to be so bad. Change your behaviors; that will help change your thinking. Of course, don't forget about respecting other peoples' thoughts and feelings while feeling released and free, and always remember to be true to yourself.
                      Romance Novels Online

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                      • #56
                        Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

                        Originally posted by x_pd_c_27 View Post
                        hello..my name is sarah..27 years old...until today, i`ve change 3 boyfriend ( playgirl hah! )...okay, i have read all the comment about how to get your ex back..what can i say here is all the suggestion given by experienced people around here is totally true 100%..furthermore, i have used some of the advices to get my 3rd boyfriend back..however, I bought e-book online at that time to know how to get my ex back..for the first week, i read the book and try to understand it..2nd week, I start to act as the instruction in that book..seriously, i got bored when my ex did not give a feedback to me..but i never give up, i read the book repeatedly,2-3 times, and finally at week 5, my boyfriend invite me to have a dinner with him for the first time after we break up....yes...it works..we have XXX at that night.. in the tomorrow morning, he ask me a forgiveness from what he have done to me when we break up..after that, we become a sweetest couple ever..he has changed a lot after we start a new relationship..oh my god, my dream come true..

                        this is a summary of my mission to get my boyfriend back..

                        1st week - buy e-book online, read and try to understand the content
                        2nd week- start to act..(no response)
                        3rd week - reread the book..start to act..(got phone call from him)
                        4th week - reread the book, read...read...and read....
                        5th week - got invitation to dinner, have wonderful xxx together
                        6th week - he become 100% mine

                        so, what I can identify here a different between my effort and others effort to get their ex back are :

                        i. I invest some money ( buy e-book ) to find out how I got my ex back. So, i really appreciate the book and use it 100% in order to get my ex back (this book is give a detail instruction). Otherwise, if you get a free advice, you may not take it seriously.

                        ii. I never give up..Although he did not give a feedback to me, I still do something to get him back.

                        iii. I believe that my fate is to live with him..

                        that is some of my opinion for today..you can ask me some question about this and i will try to help..by the way, i have made a blog about this thing, you can visit it at couples-bible dot blogspot dot com. Please pray for my happiness with my boyfriend..we plan to get married this November:eusa_whis
                        While this seems like a plug for this e-book and I'm normally not swayed by these types of things, I have to say that my ex used advice from an e-book to attract me to him in the first place. And it worked. :P He told me about the e-book afterwards and what type of advice it gave, and it seemed logical.

                        Unfortunately, it did not advise him further than how to attract women... nothing about KEEPING them

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

                          Hi,

                          Remember...the opposite of love is NOT hate. There is a very fine line between love and hate...they are both very emotional states. We only "hate" someone we "used" to love because we still have a heart full of feelings for them.

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

                            Can't live with them...Can't shoot'em......lol
                            Please don't visit our site. We apologize for spamming.

                            Comment


                            • #59
                              Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

                              Originally posted by abetterus View Post
                              Can't live with them...Can't shoot'em......lol
                              Who says?

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                Re: CONTENT: How To Get Over Your Ex.

                                Well, really, if you live with them, don't shoot them indoors, cause that's a pain in the ass to clean up. Either shoot them outside, or prefer a cleaner method, like the good ol' reliable neck-snap.
                                %0|%0

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