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Are these mind games? Need help understanding whats going on here?

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  • Are these mind games? Need help understanding whats going on here?

    So I ended things with my ex 4 weeks ago because I got fed up of the drama between him and his ex. I didn't want things to end but I lost my shit and told him I was done and blocked him for 24 hours until I calmed down (bad I know).he blocked me in return , anyway 2 days later I cave and text to apologise. Told him he could come and talk if he wanted and left it at that. A week later he initiated contact.. 3 times but just silly pictures. I responded with a laughing emoji.. Quiet again for 2 more weeks then he starts again. Same thing.. Silly videos and pictures and emojis but no talking!?!. I ride it out and reply giving him the same as hes giving me. Anyway. He starts messaging the same sort of stuff everyday. So after 5 days I decided to say something. I got 5 unread messages from him.,so I replied telling him the messages were confusing and If he wants to work it out we can talk. If not he needs to stop contacting me. He got a bit pissed and said he thought we were getting on better since I f&#ked him off the other week. So I reply that im just making my position clear and that if hes not interested I need to move on. I know I ended it and hes angry but he didnt exactly stop me either.
    So the next evening he sends me a screenshot of messages he sent me the night I blocked him. Only him saying he thinks im being unreasonable and asking if he should come over. I reply again and say that he could have reached me if he really wanted to i.e text or call.
    So last night I get a random message saying"no you dumped me"!!... I reply saying I didnt want to but you let your ex come in between us. He replys "I let her " then blocks me
    I sent him a text explaining that what his ex did was out of order (she caused a lot of drama) and that he did nothing to stop it.
    He replys "dont contact me anymore" which severely annoyed me as it was him initiating contact all the time! I only ever responded!

    Is this guy just trying to give me a taste of my own medicine here or what because I'm baffled.. Hes 40s too so not a child

  • #2
    Well, your relationship isn't working out so why sweat the small stuff now? Try to make yourself not care why. Just block, delete and be done with him and his ex drama for good and in all ways. You'll feel better when he can no longer get under your skin.

    If you accept that breaking up with him was the best thing for your psychological and emotional health you'll be able to do that blocking, deleting and ignoring very easily.

    He's replied don't contact me anymore... make it so and adopt a "I don't give a shit about him and his ex" attitude and get on with life without him in it.
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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    • #3
      Yeah, stay well away from this guy and his ex. He still has some attachment to her and sounds like a childish idiot. He can't treat you like that, it's unacceptable.
      ​​​​ He does not care about you and you deserve so much better than that, so please block him everywhere you can and never speak to him again.

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      • #4
        Believe me Ive no intention of speaking to him after that. Thats what annoyed me about it. I wasn't contacting him at all. I never initiated contact. So how can you tell someone not to contact you anymore when they weren't contacting you in the first place!!! And why start messaging me all day everyday if you didnt want to sort things out!! Beyond me.
        ​​​​​

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        • #5
          Exactly. You deserve so much better. He was just playing games with you, taunting you.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Only me View Post
            Believe me Ive no intention of speaking to him after that. Thats what annoyed me about it. I wasn't contacting him at all. I never initiated contact. So how can you tell someone not to contact you anymore when they weren't contacting you in the first place!!! And why start messaging me all day everyday if you didnt want to sort things out!! Beyond me.
            ​​​​​
            When I read your opening post the first thing that came to mind was that he was sending out bulk emails and you just happened to be on the list because he hadn't gotten to blocking or deleting you yet. The "contact" you are talking about isn't actually contact in the sense that he was texting or phoning you or sending you anything of value at the time of your "caving."

            Also: The contact you have had with him since YOU caved and spoke to him has apparently solidified the fact that you two are best broken up and no contact is the way to go now.
            Last edited by phasesofthemoon; November 10th, 2018, 03:13 PM.
            "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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            • #7
              No the contact was direct messaging, and all day for about 5 days... Like asking me what plans I had for the evening... Or asking what I was watching.. Sending me love heart emojis ect. He just never spoke about the break up or mentioned his intentions. Once I asked him why he was messaging me and said unless he's wanting to sort things out I think its best if he stops messaging me he just turned. It was weird. Then I got the "no you dumped me" then blocked... Ive been scratching me head ever since.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Only me View Post
                No the contact was direct messaging, and all day for about 5 days... Like asking me what plans I had for the evening... Or asking what I was watching.. Sending me love heart emojis ect. He just never spoke about the break up or mentioned his intentions. Once I asked him why he was messaging me and said unless he's wanting to sort things out I think its best if he stops messaging me he just turned. It was weird. Then I got the "no you dumped me" then blocked... Ive been scratching me head ever since.
                Why scratch your head? Instead forget about him or anything about him. You broke up with him. He's doing the right thing by asking you not to contact him (even IF he contacted you first) because after your exchanges, he's realized that breaking up was the right thing and the best way to get over someone is to stop talking to them and have zero contact which means texting or any other form of electronic communication.

                Are you sorry you broke up with him or something?
                "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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                • #9
                  Yes I was. I tried fixing it. But now hes just left me confused. I get the impression hes still really angry about what I did and he has every right to be.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Only me View Post
                    Yes I was. I tried fixing it. But now hes just left me confused. I get the impression hes still really angry about what I did and he has every right to be.
                    ... and I have a feeling that you did the right thing in breaking up with a man that isn't finished with his ex yet.

                    Be glad you are out of it all, heal and find someone who doesn't still have ex drama. You did the right thing now take the next step and do your best to stop letting him occupy your thoughts to the point you needed to start a thread about him.

                    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Only me View Post
                      Yes I was. I tried fixing it. But now hes just left me confused. I get the impression hes still really angry about what I did and he has every right to be.
                      Are you serious? Your putting the blame on yourself for this? Noone should have to put up with an ex, unless they have a child together or something? What exactly was going on with his ex? What DRAMA are you referring to? You weren't exactly clear on that.

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                      • #12
                        Lets just say she became hell bent on trying to ruin him. Using their child as a pawn. Threatening suicide.. All the usual crazy ex stuff you dont need. I think thats why I feel guilty forbleaving him like I did. He couldn't control is as much as I couldn't but I just got to my boiling point. He was depressed about it all so I can kind of understand why hes so hurt by me ending it. I just dont understand why he came back when he could have stayed gone. I didnt contact him. I left him alone

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                        • #13
                          She would've inevitably ruined your relationship with him so I think you are lucky to get out when you did. It would have ground you down too and things would've been far worse. You did the right thing.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Only me View Post
                            Lets just say she became hell bent on trying to ruin him. Using their child as a pawn. Threatening suicide.. All the usual crazy ex stuff you dont need. I think thats why I feel guilty forbleaving him like I did. He couldn't control is as much as I couldn't but I just got to my boiling point. He was depressed about it all so I can kind of understand why hes so hurt by me ending it. I just dont understand why he came back when he could have stayed gone. I didnt contact him. I left him alone
                            You DID contact him. You "caved" to his meaningless bulk emails. When you did that you got the ball rolling. It's rather sad that you broke up with him in hopes he would come chasing you instead of giving him an ultimatum about his interaction with his ex and if he didn't/couldn't end the attention he was giving her THEN you could have left with some resolve that you were better off gone. The way you tried to play a "come get me" game with him has left you thinking you still want him when in reality, he's not yours to have. He's is still very much hers.
                            "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Yes YOU are playing mind games. With someone who doesn’t care. Why?

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