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  • I need someone to explain this

    I was very good friends with a male, and he had told me he had feelings for me a while back. We ended up having sex multiple times and I didnt realize I had feelings until much later after he did. I told him about my feelings but he also has feelings for someone else. I guess I took too long to realize mine. We tried staying friends but I felt hurt seeing him with the other girl and decided I needed distance from him to get over my feelings. The problem is with the distance we both are feeling this manifested physical sickness and we kind of keep going back to each other( not sex but just hanging out and companionship like we had before sex) even though we said distance. Every time i hang out with him when I'm no longer with him I feel super sad and sick and all I want is to talk to him. We are connected in this really strange way, the other day I got this gut feeling to ask him if something was wrong and it turned out that he saw some pictures of me and was having this anxiety attack at the same time my gut told me to message him. I just want advice or to even understand what this is.

  • #2
    If he's with someone else then it shouldn't mean anything. You seem to have a connection but it's not a healthy one. I advise staying away from each other, give yourselves a chance to have a future and not feel unhappy all the time. Neither of you can keep living like that and you are clearly not good for eachother. At least think and have some respect for the woman he is with.

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    • #3
      You're sick to your stomach because you still have feelings for him, hon. And you should be respecting yourself enough to cut ties, heal yourself and start over with someone new. If this man finds companionship with YOU and rolls in the hay with another woman, I think you should seriously be evaluating what on earth this man is all about. You owe it to yourself to move on and for goodness sake, lose him. He doesn't sound worth yours or this other woman's time. What a waste of space.

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      • #4
        I agree with Rose.

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        • #5
          Every time i hang out with him when I'm no longer with him I feel super sad and sick and all I want is to talk to him.
          This is called addiction and when you don't get a hit of your drug of choice called a-guy-that-loves-someone-else, you go through physical withdrawl. As with any drug, the only way to get it out of your system and rehab from the craving is to go cold turkey withdrawl through zero contact until you have cold turkey'd to the stage of indifference to him. He loves another girl, wake up.

          We are connected in this really strange way,
          its an addiction. If he cared at all about you he'd back off and let you heal from his rejection instead of using you and your admiration for him.
          Last edited by phasesofthemoon; November 5th, 2018, 09:46 PM.
          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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          • #6
            He's not with the other girl, never has been. I guess its just a scenario where he liked both of us at the same time. But I do plan on keeping my distance and separating myself and moving on. Thanks for all the answers

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            • #7
              Kilanssin He liked both the woman and you at the same time. Two's company, three's a crowd. Cease all contact and then you can really move on for real.
              "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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              • #8
                If you two want to be together that is fine and make it so. On the other hand why to go through such a pain. Go to meet other people. Be with your family. Enjoy life. It will help. Also don't forget there is so many other guys out there. Still if you can't live without him, try some techniques - just google -- >> how to get him back. Good luck.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by chanelle View Post
                  Kilanssin Two's company, three's a crowd.
                  Hmm.. very very good phrase. I guess if there's three you never know which one he really loves. I would say stop yourself before real love kicks in and you fall deeper. There's bound to be many that you'd find something special or connected with eventually.

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