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Feeling like crap, cant get over infatuation

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  • Feeling like crap, cant get over infatuation

    Hi guys, this is my first post so I'd really appreciate some help and advice.

    I met this girl online who lives in the same city and we started talking, probably for around 2 months or so and then we eventually agreed to go on a date together. On the date I felt we were talking quite well, there wasn't a lot of awkwardness or anything but when the date ended I had the feeling that I maybe didn't impress her as much as I wanted to. After some days I contacted her again and asked her on another date and she said yes but made it clear that it would only be as friends. I eventually said that in that case, it's probably best that we don't meet up after all.

    Problem is that I have grown an infatuation for this girl and now that it's officially over, I feel so bad. I had hoped that it would work and now I've been stopped dead in my tracks. I feel like I made a mistake by saying we shouldn't hang out as friends as MAYBE I could have won her over eventually but if it never worked out, I'd only be longing out the hurting process.

    It's crazy now I can't think about anyone else, I see other girls on the street who are conventionally more beautiful but I barely care, I just wanted her. She's cute, kind hearted, funny and a great personality. I had high hopes and maybe that was my ultimate downfall. Not that I was planning a marriage or anything, but I saw a potential for something great with her which I guess is why this hurts so much.

    I need some advice, do I reach out and meet up as friends only in the hope that one day she falls for me? Or just cut off all contact?

    If I let go now, how do I overcome this feeling of utter crap. I feel like I'm not good enough and I just can't get her out of my head. I have a deep infatuation for her. I just wish I never met her in the first place. I know time heals and in time I will feel better but damn, I want the crap feeling to end now. I mean, we weren't even officially together or anything, why have I grown so fond of her?

    Please help

    Last edited by Crouching Tiger; October 11th, 2018, 07:19 AM.

  • #2
    A girl doesn't need 10 dates to figure out if she's attracted to you.
    She met you, the spark wasn't there. You won't persuade her by pretending to be her friend and then hitting on her anyway. She will just feel uncomfortable because you don't respect her boundaries which she has clearly indicated.
    She was clear about what she wanted. Listen to her. Stop making up stories in your mind.

    You'll get over her once you stop allowing yourself to think about her all the time. Fill your life with other meaningful activities and people and move on, one day at a time.
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf


    • #3
      I'm not sure why you both waited two months to meet up. Was it a logistics issue? Chalk this up to experience next time and don't spend so much of your time talking to someone online for two months before meeting them. At the very most, a few days, tops while you exchange numbers and work out your schedule in the week when to meet each other physically in person.