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I'm going insane

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  • I'm going insane

    • I have fallen in love with a co worker/ longish term friend.
      I met her two years ago at my job, we were decent friends for a while but not very close. Just this passed summer we became very close, and not long after that I found myself falling for her.
      Here's the kicker: shes in a relationship of nearly 4 years.
      normally, this would be an instantaneous sign to call it quits. Problem was that she seemed to be very flirty with me all the time, we texted all day every day and my best friend said she seemed like she might be into me, I agreed. I decided I was going to tell her how I feel. I wanted to do it sober, however at her birthday party we both got sloppy drunk and I confessed, her boyfriend was not present.
      the next day I hardly remembered the conversation, however she seemed to. We agreed to meet up and talk about it sober. I again confessed my feelings and she in turn told me she did not feel the same way.
      fine, pack er up, call er a day and move on.
      But. In the weeks following my confession, in fact nearly every weekend for the passed 3 months, weve hung out, and either sober or drunk we end up cuddling on the couch for hours. Am I crazy or is this not something an uninterested girl does?
      last night it climaxed (no not quite that way). I picked her up from the bar after she got wasted with her friends. She passed out drunk on top of me and we slept together (in the literal meaning of the word slept). We woke up in the early morning and spent nearly an hour fully eembraced in eachother, just chatting about everything under the sun. Again, am I crazy or is THIS NOT HOW AN UNINTERESTED GIRL ACTS.
      I dropped her off at her boyfriend's later that morning. Quick side note on her boyfriend, they dont seem to do anything together. Her and I share a friend group, and in the two years I've known her not once has he come to one of our outings. The only time they are together is when she is at his place, which is maybe two nights a week it shes not with me or out drinking with her girlfriends. She admitted to me one night that she loves him but feels like "something is missing".
      please help me, I think about her all day every day and going crazy wondering if she feels the same way and if I should take further action.

      thank you,
    • Wyoming usa

  • #2
    She has a boyfriend.
    Do the right thing and back off. Whether or not she's interested doesn't really matter. She's off limits until she breaks up with the boyfriend.
    If she doesn't end the relationship, keep your distance.
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf


    • #3
      The fact that you both had too much to drink nearly half of the moments together described doesn't help clear up any emotional confusion between the two of you.
      You confessed your feelings and she hasn't broken up with her boyfriend.
      I know you feel very involved, but it would be best to keep your distance until she makes a decision.
      Don't make her a cheater. You both deserve better.
      Have one more clear, sober conversation if you wish, but if she decides to stay with the boyfriend, then the answer is no and you should move on, however long and painful that takes/is.