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need answers please!

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  • need answers please!

    So Im 27 and the girl is 23. I arrived in New Zealand traveling on a work visa. i ended up meeting another American girl at the bar. we hit it off and make out but nothing serious. just fun. the next day i txt her saying lets get lunch. she agrees. next thing you know we end up having everything in common. like hobbies like we are both really into photography. we even have every personal and moral belief in common. you know the feeling when you and another person have the same thought process. it was like that. We also both have a passion for traveling so we connected on that immediately. so after lunch we end up spending the whole day together with constant laughter and stories. i could really feel the chemistry and spark between us at this point. at the end of the day she comes and sleeps over. we just kiss and thats it. next day i went to a nearby town just for two days. in those two days she told me she actually missed me which caught her off guard. i come back to town and see her. she asks me if i would like to join her travels for a few days. so i did. same thing happens. we end up having an amazing time. we got to know eachother even more. it just kept getting better and better making a connection. when we finally got to her original destination we stayed at seperate hostels the first night. then the next two nights we ended up staying in the same hostel and even same room. the first night things were great. she ended up getting a job in a town and even invited me to come. so i accepted. this wasnt going to happen for another week though. the second night of being in this hostel i wrote her a little note expressing my strong feelings toward her. she really appreciated it she said. she also told me she was scared. her story is she originally came to New Zealand to not get into a relationship. which i understand. i told her i was the same. she had been single for sometime and was enjoying discovering herself. she said shes had a few flings back home recently but nothing serious. she also told me all of her real relationships were toxic and bad. she said it puts pressure on her if i follow her. i told her while yes i am following her i am also seeing parts of the country i wanted to see. so it works out. i also said we didnt have to be together we could continue to get to know eachother more in a casual manner like dates here and there. she said after that conversation she felt so much better and relieved to hear me say that. the next day we went kayaking and camping. she was in such a good lovey dovey mood. that day went great. after camping the next morning we were packing up to continue our journey. she then told me she wasnt feeling the spark like she originally thought she was. she couldnt figure it out but she really couldnt feel it she said. so we went back to the hostel and went out seperate ways. i continue to ask her if anything may have turned her off and she the fact i wasnt creative enough did. she said she wanted someone to push her writing and poetry creativity side further. i knew this was true. i wasnt a creative person. i still asked i dont understand how you have such an intense connection with someone then you lose it. she said she doesnt have the exact answers and its just how she feels. i didnt know this girl for long but i was crazy about her. it really hurts to find something like that then lose it.
    Last edited by nichhamilton; October 5th, 2018, 04:51 PM.

  • #2
    She wants someone to push her? This isn't someone self-contained or self-motivated and I think this early on you are not obligated to "push" anyone. I'm sorry but that's ridiculous. If you had an intense connection that's fine. Those things happen a lot especially when you're traveling. I have met interesting people too on my travels, some very charismatic and good looking too. I'm guessing this is your first foray into working and living abroad. Take it as it comes and don't get caught up seriously with women like this. She's got a lot of growing to do and so do you. It didn't work out this time and you're both not on the same wavelength.

    Why are you in NZ anyway? What's the purpose of your work visa? You're obviously English-speaking and American (unless you meant "another American girl" as in you meet a lot of them there) so you're not there to improve your English. How does this work experience help your resume?