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  • can't move on?

    I broke up with my ex about 3 months ago, im still having diffficulty moving on, i keep occasionally dream about her in my sleep, i can't go by a day without having her cross my mind at least once. I also still feel jealous and scared that she might have someone else already like my mind keeps fantasizing her loving someone else or being with someone else that might be better than me, while also worried that she had completely forgotten about me and had moved on way earlier than i did. It's like the more I try to stay away, the closer I actually get, what can i do?

  • #2
    You need to realise that thoughs are capable of being controlled.
    You are acting like a victim of your own mind at the moment.

    Letting go means whenever you think of her, you take a mental step back, catch yourself in the act and say: this is no longer my concern. I will now think of something else instead.
    And then you distract yourself using music, citing the alphabet backwards, listing prime numbers, going to the gym or whatever feels best for you.

    One step at a time, Justin.

    Also, have you deleted her from your social media? Have you deleted her messages and pictures? Have you gotten rid of all things that remind you of her?
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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    • #3
      thank you, that letting go advice helped tremendously. I have gotten rid of her social media but not completely, there are still somethings that I didn't realized until now that are reminding me of her, I should probably get rid of them too, they are probably the reason why those thoughts keep coming back.
      Last edited by justin444; September 13th, 2018, 06:54 AM.

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      • #4
        Its only been three months since you broke up so its understandable that your mind keeps going to her. Do as Ayla suggests and change the subject of her when she enters your mind.

        One of the tricks that works to help you to keep your mind free of her is to put an elastic band around your wrist and when she pops into your head, snap the rubber band and bring yourself back to reality.... then do something to keep you busy and her out of your head.

        Feel better soon.
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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        • #5
          Originally posted by justin444 View Post
          I have gotten rid of her social media but not completely, there are still somethings that I didn't realized until now that are reminding me of her, I should probably get rid of them too, they are probably the reason why those thoughts keep coming back.
          Correct! Removing these things will certainly help.
          Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by justin444 View Post
            I broke up with my ex about 3 months ago, im still having diffficulty moving on, i keep occasionally dream about her in my sleep, i can't go by a day without having her cross my mind at least once. I also still feel jealous and scared that she might have someone else already like my mind keeps fantasizing her loving someone else or being with someone else that might be better than me, while also worried that she had completely forgotten about me and had moved on way earlier than i did. It's like the more I try to stay away, the closer I actually get, what can i do?
            Do you feel like despite dreaming about her and her crossing your mind on a daily basis , that it is somewhat less than say 2 months ago?

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            • #7
              Three months is a long time already and enough for the smoke to clear. I think you have unfinished business as in you screwed up really bad if your conscience is so heavily weighed. Try and look back and revisit the reasons for the break up and ask yourself how you've changed since then or what you've learned.

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              • #8
                Hey! Sorry this is going on... I can recall a time- back in my dating days-- When I was head over heels, for this girl. We was going on vacation together and the night before we left, I ran to the local walmart to pick up some last minute supplies. While driving there, I seen her car parked on the way. When I stopped to see what was up... She was in the back seat with someone. It broke me. I want you to know that, I went awhile before I seemed to get her off my mind. But God surely did bless the broken road... Because, about 6 months later... I found the girl I now call my wife. I would go through it all again, just to have her. I will be praying for you and hope you find your peace.

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                • #9
                  take time to focus on yourself. meet some new people. go out. have fun. the more you get busy with your own life and goals the sooner you will start feeling better. in the end it doesn't really matter how she feels, if she meets other people etc. it's over. if it was meant to be she wouldn't have left. i'm sorry but you need to move on and let it go. you're only hurting yourself by dwelling on it

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