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Angry SO

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  • Angry SO

    My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. He is generally a really nice guy. We make each other laugh, and like a lot of the same things. My problem is his anger gets out of control. Little things set him off like if Iím making a weird noise (like humming or a absentmindedly tapping on something). Heíll just start yelling, like from 0-100, and be instantly pissed off. I looked it up online and I think he has misophonia. We joke about it but I make a constant effort not to do anything that will make him upset. Other things make him easily angry too, like if I ask too many questions or try to talk about spending more time together. He also has serious road rage and will lock up the brakes on the highway because of other drivers, or if heís upset with me. Heís kicked in doors numerous times inside our house if Iím trying to get some space away from him. Today something he said hurt my feelings and I tried to just close the bedroom door to get away and try to get over it and he stuck his foot in the door and wouldnít left me close it. He got mad and punched a hole in the door once it was closed and then got it open and kicked a fan across the the room. He was yelling and screaming at me. I was just crying and not saying anything. He says that itís my fault because Iím too emotional and Iím the one the one with the problem. I agree I am an emotional person but I donít yell or hurt people if Iím upset, I just need some space to try and collect myself. Iím just wondering if Iím right in thinking he has a huge problem and it isnít normal that he gets so enraged and blames everything on me. Also

    Heís been to anger management classes before we met.

  • #2
    He needs to get back to anger management .

    Itís not up to you to walk on eggshells to prevent him getting angry , clearly you arenít the only one that seems to make him angry, therefore you must realise this is ALL his problem and not yours.
    ( you arenít responsible for his road rage and I wouldnít get in a car with him)

    Its up to him to control his anger.
    Anger is a normal emotion we all deal with.
    We cope with it and control it.
    Your bf doesnít.

    But you also need to learn how to cope with his anger when it does arise. And thatís not locking yourself away.
    You need to remain , rational , level headed and calm.

    Perhaps you should book into a program dealing with an angry person, while he attends anger management therapy.


    • #3
      I hope he hasn't been violent towards you. He certainly has issues to deal with & as Maggiemay says it's not up to you to placate him.
      If he doesn't sort his problems out then the future looks bleak for you, living with such a loose cannon!
      Get him to sort himself out before it's too late!


      • #4
        As another poster wrote, you should not be walking on egg shells in a loving relationship. We all have habits that can be annoying to others. When you love someone, you accept them. We are who we are. If your habits are toxic to the relationship, e.g. drinking/drug abuse, lying, poor impulse control, etc. that's a different story. But humming and tapping do not give him the right to lose his temper on you. Realize that he has a problem that he needs to remedy or your relationship with will most likely end. If there is ever any physical abuse, please do yourself a favor and leave him immediately.


        • #5
          Get away from him. You need to stop enabling him (by staying with him) to emotionally abuse you with his angry outbursts. He needs therapy and another bout of anger management and you should NOT stay with him while he works out why he is the way he is.

          He's going to get you killed with the way he drives.
          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


          • #6
            Your post reads like an ad for anger management courses. I was expecting a link there. Are you for real?

            Yes, it's more likely than not he needs help. And so do you. You're both not happy with each other at all. If someone shows you that they're irritated and dislike you, believe it. I think you've been living in denial. Are you financially dependent on him?