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Any advice in handling breakup in same house?

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  • Any advice in handling breakup in same house?

    Hi all,
    first to say i wrote some topics here and it really has helped me.
    thanks for not judging and kind words.
    after 10 yrs we split up. Very difficult relationship and a lot has happened.
    although it was not my decision i do think this will be better for me.
    we have bought a house together and because we dont have any options
    of moving out we still live in the same house. We split up a week ago.
    my emotions are a rollercoaster. We are not fighting at all and we do have the
    intension of doing this fair and amicable.
    somehow even though we are some sort of friends, wich we were before the relationship but it is hard.
    he seems to be very happy and planning things with friends etc. I feel that i am some pathetic sad
    thing that is stuck. Or do men cope differenty than women.
    we have a lot of things to do like clearing the house, make it ready for selling, finances etc.
    i feel im stuck and cant really move on. I just want this to be over.
    i am also sad because of our holiday plans. I worked so hard to have a summer break wich is not going to hallen now.
    at work i also have a workstress. The workload is imense.
    today i totally went empty, started to cry and went home.
    i feel so weak and ashamed this happened. We have an important meeting
    in an hour and they really want me the be there. Im scared
    that i will burst out crying again.
    does anyone ever had this before and do you have any advice?
    thanks a lot.

  • #2
    You're going through a rough break up. It's perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed from time to time. Don't be so hard on yourself and give yourself time to recover.
    Try to figure out your living situation asap. The healing process will be smoother once you're not confronted with him on a daily basis.
    Also be aware that once the house is sold, the best way to recover is by ending all contact with him. You'll need time to re-evaluate who you are without him, and you can't do that while remaining friends.

    Time heals all wounds. Surround yourself with loving and supportive people and find distraction in healthy things, like exercise, new hobby's etc.
    Good luck!
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf


    • #3
      Try to be patient for this time to be over (because it will be over). Ayla's right - it will get smoother once you have your own space. It will feel less surreal and less like things are completely overturned and chaotic. If you're sad about your holidays and have ended it because it was wrapped up with this other person, then go away on your own or visit friends out of town and still take that time off. I think you owe it to yourself to take that short break. Maybe you have to re-schedule for a different month or week but do it. Creating new memories and a new life will lend you the confidence to move forward. Prove to yourself you can do it by simply doing it. Remember -when you're going through hell, keep going! Feeling scared is just the tip of the iceberg. There's a lot of life out there waiting for you.