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I Cant Win

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  • I Cant Win

    Hello Can you give me some advice?

    I have been with my Girlfriend for 8 and a half years, and I have just moved in with her. We found out that she is pregnant sometime back, so we decided to move in together to give the baby the best chance in life.

    We have been engaged for over a year, so moving out with a baby seemed the right idea.

    Even though we have been together for 8 years, it would only be 5 because midway through our relationship we developed problems and we split. She found another guy after and I wasnít looking for anyone but kept in touch with her. After a year with they split up, she told me that her new boyfriend said ďhe couldnít compete with me, she loved me not himĒ. We got back together and tried again.

    Although this isnít the first time that she has been with another guy, in these past 8 years she has cheated numerous times. Every time she pleads with me to forgive and forget but I always thought about ending it, I give her the benefit of the doubt and put my trust in her again because I hope she changes.

    The other night she told me that the baby may not be mine as she had a one-night stand with her Ex, she said if the baby comes out mixed then its mine, If it comes out black then she will need a DNA test. This had really upset me, she pleaded me to stay which I did. She asked me later if the baby is not mine would I be able to stay and take care, for the sake of avoiding another argument I said yes.

    The problem is that she has always had a short fuse, and things would make her angry very easily. Even in the past she would lose her temper with me and sulk if I done things that she didnít like, but to me they seemed harmless. I always worry what to say to her as she flies of the handle and cries, as she takes them wrong. As she is from Ghana, there is a culture difference but neither of us saw that as a problem and I have always accepted her and her families culture and participated in events. So I do understand that she may not fully grasp how I say things, but sometimes it seems like our arguments are petty.

    I have always been close to my family, but she says that I am too close. There was a problem between my Sister and her falling out because my partner cheated on me. From Then my family was never to keen on her, so in the end I covered up the other times she cheated on me. Now that I moved out I still keep in touch my family, I make calls to them about 3 times a day but she moans that I shouldnít ring my family and tell them my life (what I have been doing etc).

    She has never liked me drinking, I am a sensible drinker with more nights off the beer than on. She says that I am an alcoholic and I have a beer belly. I am 6f in height and weight around 11.5 stone, I know that I am slightly big for my height but no immediate problem. When I drink she moans at me, saying I told you to give this up and then she starts crying. She stormed out the supermarket because I placed a box of carling in my trolley when shopping. We talk and she says I donít listen to her or have her interests at heart. Her father passed away due to drink and she says she donít want me to end up like him, I tell her that once I have enough I stop.

    I have longish hair which I get trimmed around 3-4 months, does not like my hair and has spent years trying to cut it. She tells me that I look like a homeless person and that she sometimes is ashamed of walking with me. She says that she looks fabulous and thereís me looks like a scarecrow.

    As I am the only one working, I pay the bills and shopping. I am fine with this but then she wants to go out with friends she asks me to fund her day out. If I say no then she will say youíre not caring for your baby as she needs to eat too. So, to avoid an argument I fund her.

    I feel like I canít win with her, whatever I do itís the wrong decision. I am already fed up living with her and I know that sounds selfish. I feel like I have the weight of the whole world on top of me?

    Is it my fault?

    Do you have any suggestions?
    Last edited by PT_LAB; July 12th, 2018, 05:08 AM.