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Ending it with the mother of my one month old child...

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  • Ending it with the mother of my one month old child...

    I'm 19 years old and have a baby with my girlfriend. I've been having doubts towards our relationship for a few months now. We don't have a bad relationship and it's definitely not perfect either. We met at our workplace which we currently don't work for anymore. Anyways we got together, saved up for a place & moved in, she got pregnant, got sick and quit working, we lost our place, and now we're currently staying with my parents. My thoughts on wanting to end it started when I found out she still speaks to her ex (who I don't trust)//(found him at our apartment coming home on break from work) which is a problem for me. She's not clean she probably takes two showers a week. We fight every now and then about her ex and many other things I haven't mentioned. I just don't want it. I could go on and on. The bottom line is I'm not happy in this relationship. I feel trapped. I know I still love her but I don't see myself continuing with it all. Am I wrong to want to be done with the mother of my child? I feel like there's so much more for me especially at my age and I feel limited to everything with her in it... Not including my child I love her to pieces. If I could get anyone's input on my situation it would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

  • #2
    You're a father now. It's time to grow up quickly. That means having adult conversations with your girlfriend about what's going on with you, her, the baby, and the ex-boyfriend.

    Why is she still meeting with the ex-boyfriend? Are you sure you are the father of the child? What do you parents say you should do?

    It's understandable that you feel trapped, but your life is no longer about you. The child's needs come first. So you need to figure out, and fix, what's wrong between you and the mother. If, after and honest effort, you can't make the relationship work, then you need to figure out how to best care for the child.

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    • #3
      Bigpoppa28626 I agree with Pollon. Work it out with your girlfriend and if it is impossible, then pay child support for the next 19 years. Be involved in your child's life forever. Never become an absentee father. Your child comes first and foremost. Be the Big Poppa.
      Last edited by chanelle; July 12th, 2018, 03:43 AM. Reason: Typo
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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      • #4
        I agree with Pollon.
        You're a father. You have more to think of than just yourself.
        There's a child in the mix now, so you're no longer able to just walk out before having tried anything and everything in your power to make this relationship work for all of you.
        Right now it doesn't seem like you've given it a mature effort. Have you had an open, honest and calm conversation about any of this, or have you just fought about it like teenagers? Have you tried couples counseling?

        I'm also going to make an assumption here (might be wrong) that this baby was unplanned, since you're 19, she's unemployed and you're living with your parents.
        THIS is exactly why smart people use birth control wisely and don't get caught in a situation they can't get out of anymore. Be smarter in the future.

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        • #5
          You said you got sick. What type of sick? Ill health can mess with our minds more than we want to admit. If you're feeling low, talk to someone you trust or find a constructive use or outlet, ie a hobby. Are you still sick? You also said that she doesn't shower every day. Neither do I (dr recommendations due to dry skin) and I certainly don't feel dirty nor has my husband ever made me feel that way. I don't smell and I'm probably cleaner than the average person. Does she have a reason for not showering? She still sees something in her ex and she's going behind your back apparently. I don't see staying as an option if the duplicity continues or if it is really as extravagant as you're depicting. Your responsibility to your child never ends and it doesn't stop with the end of this relationship. You should make a decision whether this person is someone you can live with, separate from the responsibility to your child. I made that difficult decision several years ago and it was the best one I made.

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