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I got left by my GF after 8 years and she is pregnant now :?

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  • I got left by my GF after 8 years and she is pregnant now :?

    Hello to all. Well i don't want this to be long thread or anything so i will try to summarize all i can.

    Recently(3 months ago) i got left by my gf because she was cooling away from me(her words)... i was with her since i finished my high school so at that time i was deeply in love and so was she..Fast forwarding 4-5 years, we had some ups and downs but we never left each other..we were seeing each other, coming to each other houses, making lunches-dinner etc etc she was really great with my mother and father too although she has nasty temper, so sometimes she gets angry and it takes her 1-3 days to get over that (to cool down)...anyhow, after that period, we moved working abroad me and her, and we both have a dog which we agreed to take care, but eventually he ended up at her place(we lived seperately because of work/money etc)

    Something important to add here is this: She has sister and that sister was dating a friend of mine for 2.5 years...it ended badly and that sister sort of cheated him with another guy that she is working with...i stayed in good relationship with my friend and my gf back then was mad because in her eyes he was bad for her sister and he will corrupt me too...She was afraid i would dump her because that friend knows lots of chicks etc etc... We were hanging out for 1 year or so and my gf started working in the same place with her sister...after some time(7 months approx) she told me that she wants a break and that we are not meant for each other blah blah...we had some arguments and finds and she didn't even want to come to my house to spend time with my mother because of very stupid reason that she had. She thought that my mother is not caring for her anymore(long story but totally untrue) and she and I started seeing each other outside of my house, but i still went to her house and to her parents etc...
    Then when she said she wanted break up, i agreed because i was angry at her and we agreed we will take 10-15days off to see how it works. I spent time with my friends back then and she spent time at work mostly...And suddenly after those 10-15 days she told me that some guy was texting her blah blah and she wants to give him chance etc... She told me that she doesn't love me anymore and that she sees me as brother or friend in the past 1 year or so....although she cried every time we get into fight and said that she loves me.

    So i hear about that, and she left me for that guy from work... I took it really hard, i was really struggling at that time and i tried to get back together but she said no..Somehow i passed over that, but what happened now is really bothering me a lot. She got pregnant by him in these 2-3 months and she decided to get married with him! I mean WTF! I was with her 8 years and she said that she doesn't want babies yet or marriage etc... and then boom this happened. I am still recovering from that shock as we speak, and if anyone has any thoughts or advices i would really appreciate it.

    I never cheated her when we were in relationship although she always tried to put something on me without any evidence..that was basically our main reason why she left with me etc...Anyhow, worst of all is that i had to learn she is getting babies now and getting married after being with me so long, and meeting this guy for 2-3 months only...what a crazy world :/
    Sorry for longer post Cheers!

  • #2
    The first thing to do is stop finding out what she's up to in life.
    She's in your past. You shouldn't even know about the new guy and the pregnancy. It's no longer any of your business. You can't move on with your life if you're still invested in hers.

    It's rough when an ex moves on so quickly, but what she's thinking or whether or not this is a good decision for her, it really shouldn't matter to you. She's not an important person in your life anymore. She's a big girl and she can fix her own messes.

    So if you haven't already, delete her from FB, block her on all social media and on your phone, and ask your mutual friends not to keep you updated on her life because you really don't want to keep lingering in the past.
    It will get easier after that.

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    • #3
      Thank you for sharing this..i know all that...i am not in any contact with her, i know this because some people told someone and i over heard it..I am still not completely over her, people are saying me like you are to get her out of my mind but that is not easy job to do. I still remember all the good time and i always think, what would have been like if we had a baby or got married or this and that...That feeling is hurting me the most, and not the feeling that i was dumped or that she is in love with someone else.. :/

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      • #4
        It will get better, once you start focussing on getting your own life back on the rails.
        Find new things to do, so you fill that void that was left behind by the break-up.
        These things take time, so take it one day at a time and do the things that make you happy.

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        • #5
          Thanks for the honest answers...I feel better now since it passed 3-4 months already but my main concern is my self esteem...I don't feel so confident going on and pick up ladies if you understand me etc..So i guess that would be some challenge for me in near future... I am thinking, what if i will be alone forever, what if i wouldn't have family with anyone else..etc

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          • #6
            You're in a vulnerable state right now, and the first thing you have to realise is, you're in no state to be making important decisions. Your emotions are still too overwhelming, your heartbreak is too fresh.
            You've fallen into a black hole after such a long relationship and right now all you want is to fill that void again. DON'T. You're not ready to be making smart partner choices, because you're being encouraged by loneliness instead of love.
            So don't go out looking for a new relationship until you've put the old one behind you.

            Get comfortable being by yourself. Get to know yourself again, find out who you are without a plus one. What do you want in life? What do you enjoy? What makes you happy?
            Work on your self esteem until you realise you don't need anyone to make you happy. Happiness comes from within.
            THEN, be open to someone who fits into that life you've pictured for yourself. Set the bar high and don't be afraid to walk away from people who aren't 100% what you need.

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