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Who would tolerate this?

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  • Who would tolerate this?

    Been married 11 years. Husband is in his 40s and is mentally cruel
    and no signs of growing up.
    Here are some of the behaviors that stupid me
    tolerates all the time.
    -Throws away or ignores gifts I give him for birthday and Christmas
    -Withholds communication
    -Withholds sex
    -Will not eat food I make
    -Physically avoids paths with me
    -Pulls my phone service when angry
    -Avoids helping out around house when mad_ will just sleep
    -Tantrums
    -Pouts
    -feels it is beneath him to mark his appts down on family appt calendar
    -Doesnít feel like he has to communicate to family that heíll be at work on Saturdays
    -extremely condescending and rude
    -silent treatment for days
    -knocks things over just so I can pick them up knowing that my lower back hurts
    -passes gas next to me and walks away
    - never, ever apologizes

    he gaslights, twisting everything to seem like itís me. Iím in a fog
    from the mental abuse. Wouldnít even know where to start explaining what he does.
    It boggles my mind that anyone would do this to another human being,
    no matter how mad they are.
    I know what the next steps are. Just needed to know that I am correct in not tolerating this anymore.
    I work full time, have 3 children, take care of my mom, and battle 2 serious medical conditions.
    Who needs this shit?

  • #2
    When will you be moving out? Have you contacted a lawyer yet?
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      tiredofgames I don't need this _____ and neither should you! Gaslighting would definitely push me over the edge. Ready to sign the divorce papers. Good riddance to the piece of _____.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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      • #4
        No one needs that shit! Get a great therapist and an attorney. Being a single parent is hard, but it is so much better then having an added layer of a mentally abusive spouse in the mix.

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        • #5
          Leave him girl, you're a strong independent woman. You'll feel better and be a lot happier without him.

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          • #6
            You say you know what needs to be done... What's your next move?
            Have you contacted a lawyer yet?
            You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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            • #7
              So there are a million and one things wrong with him. It's easy to point out someone else's flaws. In a relationship there are always two sides. I find it difficult to believe that someone who once presumably asked you to marry him could turn so sour all of a sudden and yet you have nothing to do with his behaviour. You may be too pissed off to do it now but in time you will have to if you really want to move past this relationship and grow in your new (and other) relationships. Look at yourself and ask yourself what got you in this position in the first place and what you can do to avoid it again. Even if you contact a lawyer, you might want to disclose and cover all your bases and be honest about anything that you did to fuck this relationship up.

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              • #8
                Hoping that you have a desire and the means to attend counseling. If he is choosing not to go, please try it for yourself. It is unfortunate that the kids have witnessed this and getting healthy will help them to process what happened and why. You are not alone in hoping things will get better and wanting them to change for the best. You have a family and it can be scary and challenging to start over. I pray for your courage and strength ahead to do what will bring the best results for your overall health and the welfare of the kids. Please get some support and prayerfully a local church could offer some encouragement, healing and create new friendships. Praying you won't go this alone!

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