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Need advice on what to do with my ex-girlfriend.

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  • Need advice on what to do with my ex-girlfriend.

    Hey people I really need your advice as my judgement is clouded with emotion.

    Currently I'm missing my ex girlfriend hell of a lot. I split with her 6 months ago and was fine until recently. The sudden sensation of missing her hit me like a tonne of bricks.

    During the first couple of weeks after the split we matched on Tinder again. We spoke shortly and about a week later she messaged me saying 'I miss you' to which I did not respond (regretting that now) the reason I didn't respond was due to the nature of why I split up with her.

    Fast forward 6 months. I started to miss her terribly and on that night I added her on Snapchat. She accepted and we caught up briefly. I managed to find out where she lived and I sent her some gifts along with a note saying I missed her to and that I love her along with my phone number.

    She messaged my phone, confused as the note wasn't what I had written. Anyway, one of the last things she said was something along the lines of 'a bit random after 6 months, I don't know what to say'... I then replied with an explanation highlighting how I feel to why it was so long and she didn't reply.

    About a week later I had some drinks and got myself drunk and sent her a message on Snapchat saying 'not going to reply no?' which again was ignored.

    Now she's kept me on her Snapchat, hasn't blocked me or anything which I find strange.

    I'm wondering do I write a 'love letter' so to speak explaining my feelings and letting her know I love her and want her back?

    Please help with this decision.

    Thank you for reading.

  • #2
    She's over you, Dude. You're going to have to accept that. She has moved on and you're not a part of her life anymore. Don't write a love letter unless you want more rejection and/or silence.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      Honestly, I'd think a little bit about why you miss her. Do you miss her or the way it felt to be in a relationship with someone? I think sometimes we confuse those two things and end up running back to people we left behind. Just remember there is a reason you guys broke up and aren't together anymore. Even if you feel like you miss her, getting back together with her may not be the best idea. That being said, I definitely wouldn't write her a letter if it seems like she hasn't been responsive to you at all. Like Sarah said, if she's ignoring you she may have moved on, and in that case you probably should to.

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      • #4
        mranon14 , It's over. Consider it a lost cause. Trying to win her back is like beating a dead horse. It won't work. Cut your losses, learn from your mistakes, improve and don't screw up in the future. It's all you can do.
        "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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        • #5
          Appreciate the input

          ***UPDATE***

          Luckily I didn't send that 'letter' I nearly did last night but I stopped myself.

          Randomly she messaged me today over snapchat. It was a reply to one of my snaps on my story. I took a photo of my dog with a funny caption and she messaged 'awww fido' (we lived together for about 6 months) we then had a chat ... Just having a laugh didn't mention what I had said to her before. Conversation died out eventually but I didn't want to carry it on for the sake of it.

          Am I right in feeling some hope from this?

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          • #6
            When people break up, the ex leaves a gap in their lives.
            When you miss an ex, it's not, always because of that person per se. It's because you haven't found something to fill up the gap just yet.
            She very well may be feeling her gap right now and that's why she reached out.

            Don't be her security blanket. Don't trick yourself into thinking that you're anything other than a way to fill the gap until something better comes along.
            You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Ayla View Post
              When people break up, the ex leaves a gap in their lives.
              When you miss an ex, it's not, always because of that person per se. It's because you haven't found something to fill up the gap just yet.
              She very well may be feeling her gap right now and that's why she reached out.

              Don't be her security blanket. Don't trick yourself into thinking that you're anything other than a way to fill the gap until something better comes along.
              She's a pretty girl so I doubt she'd have struggled to find someone during the 5 months we didn't speak. I went NC immediately after we split until the last 2 weeks.

              Her behaviour is strange thats all. It's as if she stops herself from getting to carried away with conversations with me. As if she's scared on some level.

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              • #8
                Her strange behavior could indicate that...

                a) She is maybe trying to stop herself from stringing you along and getting you too interested in her again
                b) She is maybe trying to stop herself from getting too interested in you again

                Either way, I'd just try to let it go and move on. Unless she comes out and says, "hey, I'd really like to consider getting back together," she is just making conversation. Don't disappoint yourself by reading too far into it and becoming upset if she doesn't want anything more.

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                • #9
                  Why did the relationship end?

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