Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Why is he so mad at me?

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Why is he so mad at me?

    My boyfriend and I got into a minor fight about 4 weeks ago. The next day I got some bad medical news. We went from him calling me every day to him only responding if I text him. He told me not to worry about us that we're fine and to focus on my health. I would ask him about once a week if we could get together and talk and he always had an excuse. Finally I got fed up. Told him I was tired of being hurt. Reminded him that when we got together I explained I have abandonment issues and he promised me if issues ever came up he wouldnt just run off that we'd talk about it. His response to me was, Look I am not doing anything to you, I don't feel up to communicating especially right now after these texts I am not hurting you, that's all I'm saying for now, I hope you have a better evening to your day. I told him he was hurting me by ignoring me and not communicating with me. He said he had no idea where I was coming from and ended it with, If you keep this up i will block you by the end of the day, and never look back don't test me okay, I said give it a rest, so I mean I'm out today don't f@#% with me. I'm pretty sure he did end up blocking me.

  • #2
    Originally posted by WDK44 View Post
    My boyfriend and I got into a minor fight about 4 weeks ago. The next day I got some bad medical news. We went from him calling me every day to him only responding if I text him. He told me not to worry about us that we're fine and to focus on my health. I would ask him about once a week if we could get together and talk and he always had an excuse. Finally I got fed up. Told him I was tired of being hurt. Reminded him that when we got together I explained I have abandonment issues and he promised me if issues ever came up he wouldnt just run off that we'd talk about it. His response to me was, Look I am not doing anything to you, I don't feel up to communicating especially right now after these texts I am not hurting you, that's all I'm saying for now, I hope you have a better evening to your day. I told him he was hurting me by ignoring me and not communicating with me. He said he had no idea where I was coming from and ended it with, If you keep this up i will block you by the end of the day, and never look back don't test me okay, I said give it a rest, so I mean I'm out today don't f@#% with me. I'm pretty sure he did end up blocking me.
    It's anyone's guess but your communication styles might be off. If you are getting anxiety and triggering abandonment issues, your texts or calls may becoming frantic to him and he can't keep up responding to you or his responses to you illicit a hundred more texts and calls from you. Only you know why he's turned off. He's no boyfriend at all if he's blocking your calls and texts so ask yourself why someone would be driven to do something so extreme.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by WDK44 View Post
      My boyfriend and I got into a minor fight about 4 weeks ago. The next day I got some bad medical news. We went from him calling me every day to him only responding if I text him. He told me not to worry about us that we're fine and to focus on my health. I would ask him about once a week if we could get together and talk and he always had an excuse. Finally I got fed up. Told him I was tired of being hurt. Reminded him that when we got together I explained I have abandonment issues and he promised me if issues ever came up he wouldnt just run off that we'd talk about it. His response to me was, Look I am not doing anything to you, I don't feel up to communicating especially right now after these texts I am not hurting you, that's all I'm saying for now, I hope you have a better evening to your day. I told him he was hurting me by ignoring me and not communicating with me. He said he had no idea where I was coming from and ended it with, If you keep this up i will block you by the end of the day, and never look back don't test me okay, I said give it a rest, so I mean I'm out today don't f@#% with me. I'm pretty sure he did end up blocking me.
      If there's one thing that most men (in particular) despise, it's typical girl drama. Even in this Information Age, too much electronic communication isn't always a good thing. On the contrary, it's an easy way for two people to get sick 'n tired of each other very quickly even if one-sided. (Note my husband and I dated before texting / emails so it was always delightful to get together because we did not smother each other to death with excessive communication in between visits.) Your bf forewarned you to change your tone, cool it and back off yet you gave him one last dig with: "give it a rest and don't _______ with me." Why did you pound a nail in the coffin? It was unnecessary. He's mad at you because you became too emotional and bothered him too much. Guys don't like that. In the future, give guys space and time. They'll appreciate it and bcomee more receptive to you. Don't hound men. They hate that.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

      Comment


      • #4
        Your abandonement issues are not his abandonement issues.
        Stop acting like it's his job to fix your anxiety. It's not. It's yours. Start seeing a counselor to fix your own mental health, because right now you're not making a valuable contribution to his life at all - and that's what partners are supposed to do for each other.

        You really need to work on your communication skills if you're going to make any mature relationship work. I don't know if this one is salvageable.
        You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

        Comment


        • #5
          I didn't say to give it rest he was the one who said it. My abandonment issues ARE because of him abandoning me in the past. He has the exact same issues from his mother abandoning him. I do see a therapist and one of my conditions when he came back begging me to take him back was that he go too. He cried and agreed he needed therapy too but when it came down to it, always had an excuse why he couldn't go. I never ONCE said it's his job to fix anything. But i do think I deserve an explanation on why he has completely checked out on me.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by WDK44 View Post
            I didn't say to give it rest he was the one who said it. My abandonment issues ARE because of him abandoning me in the past. He has the exact same issues from his mother abandoning him. I do see a therapist and one of my conditions when he came back begging me to take him back was that he go too. He cried and agreed he needed therapy too but when it came down to it, always had an excuse why he couldn't go. I never ONCE said it's his job to fix anything. But i do think I deserve an explanation on why he has completely checked out on me.
            Sometimes closure comes from within. Chasing closure from an unreliable source causes more anxiety. You should be weighing whether your unreliable source is worth chasing for closure. In the end you are the one who has to sleep at night and face your experiences with this person or in your past. Take control of those painful experiences and try to understand them for what they are. In actuality, no one owes you any explanation at all. You made decisions that got you this far and it was a 50/50 split on where this experience got you. Own those decisions you made and try not to make the same mistakes again.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by WDK44 View Post
              I didn't say to give it rest he was the one who said it. My abandonment issues ARE because of him abandoning me in the past. He has the exact same issues from his mother abandoning him. I do see a therapist and one of my conditions when he came back begging me to take him back was that he go too. He cried and agreed he needed therapy too but when it came down to it, always had an excuse why he couldn't go. I never ONCE said it's his job to fix anything. But i do think I deserve an explanation on why he has completely checked out on me.
              I don't think you acting any way difference then most people whose boyfriend is fading would do. You wanted an explanation for his apparent indifference to you and instead of giving you an explanation as to why he wasn't coming to see you, he turned it around on you and tried to make you look like you were a nagging beeotch.

              He's shown you that he doesn't give a flying fuck about you so don't bother with him anymore. All it would have taken, if he gave a tiny shit was to explain his blaze indifference to you. He DID show you that he doesn't care much so what are you going to do about it?

              Why is he so mad at at you? I think he's not very happy with himself and so he's unable to show you value when he doesn't even value himself. Don't give him another chance. Know when to throw in the towel and block and delete.
              "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

              Comment


              • #8
                You are not going to get the explanation you seek. I suspect it has to do with him thinking the fight was over in light of your health news & you still bringing it up & wanting to continue to discuss it to death. Read a pop psychology book about gender communication: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. You pestered him because you were understandably upset but alas he didn't understand that & got fed up.

                At this point, in your shoes, I'd be so annoyed that my BF couldn't show up after my health news that I'd want him gone.

                Comment

                Working...
                X