Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Can't escape my Ex

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Can't escape my Ex

    It's been like 6 months now. She ended things because she didn't want a boyfriend and cut contact with me despite us being in the same social circle which made things extremely uncomfortable for me. Even after she got back in contact and messed me around for three months making me think she wanted me back and flaking on me and telling our friends a completely different story, I'm being the bigger man and letting it go.

    Well in the past two months I can't get away from her memory. Everytime I go on a night out and meet new people, it turns out they know her and have heard about me. I then have to listen about her and her new boyfriend and how happy they are. I meet new girls and go on dates and find out they're really good friends with her and have just gone for drinks for her recently, her new bf is such a great guy.

    i've just started a new job and learn that most of the staff are her boyfriend's best friends. Queue the "lighthearted" jokes about how he's better than me. And heaven forbid I complain if she's invited along on a night out with my only friends.

    I honestly don't know what to do, I thought I was over her but I kept getting reminded that I wasn't good enough for her and everyone knows and loves her.

    she messaged me out of the blue last week to let me know she really enjoyed the latest Avengers film (we used to geek out about Marvel together) which she just saw at the cinema with her new bf. "We'll have to meet up soon so I can tell you what I've been up to".

    Seriously, do I have to move or something to get away and forget her.

  • #2
    Seriously, do I have to move or something to get away and forget her.
    No, you just have to ignore her texts and superficial attempts at conversation, get out there and meet lots of women (outside of your small circle if need be) and get yourself over her. I usually don't agree with the following saying, but in your case I think its a good idea to: Get over someone get on someone new (or whatever)

    In the meantime, if anyONE brings her up, calmly tell them you're not interested and then change the subject.
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

    Comment


    • #3
      Hey, thanks for the reply.

      But that's exactly what u have been doing. I've been out without my friends, met complete strangers on nights out, had a great time. But either later that night or the next morning she somehow will come up in conversation and it turns out they know her. It's like she knows everyone in my city, it's ridiculous.

      Most of my exes, once the relationship ends I never hear from or about them again. I knew i'd hear about her from our mutual friends. But I can't even meet strangers who aren't friends with her. Las month, a girl I'd been talking to for about three hours at a club, once she asked about former relationships and realized who I was, she literally said she feels weird talking to me and walked off.

      Comment


      • #4
        I'm with Phases. (and it's "The best way to get over someone, is to get under another)

        If you follow her or she follows you on any social media, knock that shit off at once. Block if you must.
        Moving is not an option, but making it clear to your colleagues and friends that she is no longer to be a topic of conversation, is.....make that happen and stop them mid-sentence if they attempt to continue. I think it's a dick move that anyone would openly compare you to him.
        The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

        Comment


        • #5
          Ha! Thanks for the right words... couldn't remember them because I usually think it's stupid advice.
          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by djgph View Post
            Hey, thanks for the reply.

            But that's exactly what u have been doing. I've been out without my friends, met complete strangers on nights out, had a great time. But either later that night or the next morning she somehow will come up in conversation and it turns out they know her. It's like she knows everyone in my city, it's ridiculous.

            Most of my exes, once the relationship ends I never hear from or about them again. I knew i'd hear about her from our mutual friends. But I can't even meet strangers who aren't friends with her. Las month, a girl I'd been talking to for about three hours at a club, once she asked about former relationships and realized who I was, she literally said she feels weird talking to me and walked off.
            What? Do you live in a town of 1000 or something? Try going to different venues...
            How did she "realize who you were?" Are you sharing toooo much about former relationships and wtf would a stranger ask you something like that? I'd answer that question with another question. At the three hour mark, she has no right to know anything about you past your name and if you're straight or gay.

            "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

            Comment


            • #7
              Nahhhh it's actually a pretty big city. I go to a lot of different venues, i'm not exaggerating when I say I keep meeting new people who all seem to know her.

              And we'd started talking at a bar, she bought me drinks, danced a little, made out, we'e talking about ourselves. After I mentioned some of my hobbies etc., she put my name to stories my ex has told about me and realized who I was.

              Literally, I'm in my twenties, never had a problem meeting new people or meeting girls. This is the first time I feel like a leper. Starting to develop anxiety about going out.

              My best mates (all guys) took me out for a lads night on the weekend. Random guy comes over that my best mate knows from somewhere. Immediately pointed at me and recognize me as he goes to college with my ex.

              Two of my closest female friends I knew through a previous job who I only get to see every few months. They're now best friends with since I introduced them once. I was around their flat yesterday and there's framed pictures of them all together all over the place.

              Like I said, even at my new job, my colleges when talking all tour their weekend can't help but bring up her new bf. I'm not gonna tell them to shut up so I just try to shut off to it.

              Comment


              • #8
                Perhaps it's time to break out of the same social circles. It sounds like you both hang out in the same crowds. She gets around and her business is aired publicly. That's not necessarily an attractive trait in anyone (man or woman). People who have a level head and are grounded usually despise that sort of talk or that crowd. I think you're too caught up in a specific crowd and mentality/way of thinking. How old are the both of you?

                I'm not asking you to change who you are but I am suggesting that you broaden your horizons. Instead of going to a bar or pub, go sailing or take up martial arts. Large cities can be very small if you're constantly hanging around the same vapid circles that have nothing to do but air out each others dirty laundry. You can do better than that.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by djgph View Post
                  It's been like 6 months now. She ended things because she didn't want a boyfriend and cut contact with me despite us being in the same social circle which made things extremely uncomfortable for me. Even after she got back in contact and messed me around for three months making me think she wanted me back and flaking on me and telling our friends a completely different story, I'm being the bigger man and letting it go.

                  Well in the past two months I can't get away from her memory. Everytime I go on a night out and meet new people, it turns out they know her and have heard about me. I then have to listen about her and her new boyfriend and how happy they are. I meet new girls and go on dates and find out they're really good friends with her and have just gone for drinks for her recently, her new bf is such a great guy.

                  i've just started a new job and learn that most of the staff are her boyfriend's best friends. Queue the "lighthearted" jokes about how he's better than me. And heaven forbid I complain if she's invited along on a night out with my only friends.

                  I honestly don't know what to do, I thought I was over her but I kept getting reminded that I wasn't good enough for her and everyone knows and loves her.

                  she messaged me out of the blue last week to let me know she really enjoyed the latest Avengers film (we used to geek out about Marvel together) which she just saw at the cinema with her new bf. "We'll have to meet up soon so I can tell you what I've been up to".

                  Seriously, do I have to move or something to get away and forget her.
                  Just ignore or block your ex. Remain cool, decline politely and eventually she should get the message to back off.

                  As for can't getting away from her due to your mutual social circles, you can't do anything about that except remain classy and gracious. Just ignore any comments about someone knowing her, be a good guy, hold you head up high, remain polite and that's all you can do. She only bothers you in your head if you allow it. Go your own way in life and eventually she won't matter as much to you anymore. Eventually you'll feel "blah" about her or every time her name is mentioned socially.
                  "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

                  Comment

                  Working...
                  X