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Best Friends who just happen to be having a baby

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  • Best Friends who just happen to be having a baby

    My boyfriend and I were together for about 18 months. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with our daughter, when he told me he didn't love me anymore it was Valentine's day, and then the next day he texted once I was off work and told me he was moving out. The day after that he was supposed to get all his things while I was at work, but he called me on my break and asked if he could wait there for me. I agreed, but then he was parked outside where I work and said he made dinner reservations where he proceeded to tell me all about how he can't do it, and how fucked up he knows this is. Anyway, after a few more days he says he's going to go to rehab for his drinking. Well, he didn't finish but is doing alright with not drinking for now. He says I'm his best friend and he can't see life without me, and when I ask him if we will ever be together again he says he doesn't we went to lunch where he acted like all was well, but I just wanted to cry the whole time. And in the car after I made an insecure joke about him having bitches in there, he made a remark about me being his pregnant best friend who just happens to be having his baby. Why won't he just tell me how it is? I cannot bring myself to let go, even though I know it's over and I don't think I can be his best friend. I could never see him with someone else and be that close to him.

  • #2
    Any reason why you don't just tell him to go fuck himself, hit him up for child support and get on with your life without a drunk in it. The dude couldn't even finish rehab for gawd sakes.

    Get yourself into a codependents anonymous meeting near you, read everything you can on the subject and if you have the money, book yourself into therapy with a good psychologist proficient in codependency issues.

    I'm so sorry that you have found yourself with someone like him. Know you deserve better and don't keep him in yours and your babies life. No one needs an alcoholic father. Your baby needs a good and positive male role model. I hope that you have a good man (father, brother, clergy) in your life that he or she can emulate.
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


    • #3
      You got pregnant to a man you didn't fully know. About 10 months in.

      A child is a huge responsibility. He knows that and he doesn't want the responsibility. He is covering that up by pretending to be best friends. And perhaps by being friends you won't hit him up for the financial responsibility.

      Take the money your child needs from him and stop pining for the loser.
      He does not want to be with you or to be a father.

      Go through the courts, it's the only way.


      • #4
        cut your losses and dump him immediately. hopefully you are on good terms with your family and can get support from them. since he was moving out while you work assuming he doesn't work so little hope of financial or emotional support from him ever


        • #5
          He is not your best friend and never will be. He is a man who got you pregnant and now refuses to take responsibility for his actions. Of course you are to blame as well for getting pregnant by someone you barely knew.

          You ask why he doesn't just tell you how it is? His actions have shown exactly how it is. He gets to go off with his other women and you get stuck with a baby and all the expenses. Don't let that happen. Get a lawyer and a paternity test when the baby is born and make him pay.
          "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


          • #6
            You don't need to worry about 'letting him go'.
            Carrying his child is a sure fire way to keep him attached to you for the rest of your daughter's life.

            You can still have him in your life without him being your lover or partner. This we STRONGLY suggest.
            You can't change the past but you can take some control over your future and that of your child.

            I'll bet you can 'bring yourself' to let him go when you look into the eyes of your baby girl for the first time, and realize that she deserves nothing but the best....knowing that he isn't it

            The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.