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I can't love him, but I can't stop

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  • I can't love him, but I can't stop

    I'm in love with my friends fiancee. I don't want to be, I've tried everything j can think of to stop, but nothing works. I met him before I met her. I didn't know he had a girlfriend at first, I just thought he was really cute. (I'll call him T) Once I found out about her (I'll call her V), i was resigned to jist being T's friend. But after a while I realised I wasn't, but at that point, I was too good of friends with V to just up and leave the friendship. She comes to me for everything, I consider her one of my best friends. But can I really be her friend if in some part of my head, I want her relationship to fail? I've tried distancing myself from them, but I feel like a terrible friend if I ignore her messages or invites to hang out. I've been having vivid dreams about him (not sexually. I honestly don't really have sexual thoughts about him often), and they're starting to really mess with me. The stress and the guilt is starting to take a large toll on my mental health, any advice would be very much appreciated
    Last edited by Singer214; March 7th, 2018, 05:35 PM.

  • #2
    Love, forbidden, unrequited,


    • #3
      Originally posted by Singer214 View Post
      Love, forbidden, unrequited,
      The only thing it is is "unrequieted."

      I think you need to smarten up and distance yourself from both of them until you get over your Limerence.

      Is he doing anything to fuel your crush?
      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


      • #4
        Out of sight out of mind. That's what you need to do. Your friend's fiancee is off limits, already spoken for and you need to scram. You wouldn't want someone like you moving in on your fiance, would you? Give the same courtesy and respect out of your own self-respect. Be honorable to your friend and HER fiance.
        "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


        • #5
          Find a way to distance yourself from both of them. Disappear out of their lives, for all your sakes.
          You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf


          • #6
            Stop worrying so much about being a good friend when you aren't even happy with yourself.