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Am I cursed?

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  • Am I cursed?

    Am I cursed?......I know it sounds dumb but it has become my only explanation. I am 28, a young professional (High School History Teacher) and I have pretty much everything that I could want. I have an amazing family that I am extremely close too, I have a great job, car, boat everything.I might be considered over weight but I'm very muscular, and go to the gym everyday I just love food too, think Linebacker vs wide receiver, . I am missing one thing, second half, soul mate and so on and so on. So why am I cursed?

    I have been in many relationships each and everyone of them a failure. I was in a long term relationship in high school, high school sweet hearts married in high school type of thing. A week before our senior prom she cheated on me. I was single then until the end of my freshman year of college and I began my next relationship it became an long distance on and off again relationship where we were engaged. We were engaged for about 6 months I again still long distance, and I was helplessly in love. A week before my birthday and valentines day she called off our engagement through an email and claimed she just fell out of love with me.

    I was heartbroken and devastated. For a long time I didn't date or get out there for obvious reasons. Now I am a total foodie love good food, good wine, craft beer, but not a partier. I can't remember the last time I was drunk so meeting some one at a bar or a party just was not really going to happen so I tried Online dating. Met a few people dated casually all not ending too good, One wanted to move in together after 3 dates, another had mood swings that I was actually scared of, and a few that everything was on me to put in all effort. Just not a good track record. That was about 6 months worth. And then I couldn't find anyone that was interested or that I was interested in. A year later I finally found someone else someone that I really liked. someone that I felt had a great connection with.

    The relationship started out great right around Halloween. She was engaged as well and it ended badly we were everything that the other wanted. By thanksgiving she stopped putting in any effort, started getting drunk a lot with friends, bringing up her ex and about the dates that she was supposed to be married. New Years she was saying that she didn't know if she could fall in love with me but we worked out. Shortly after she went on a cruise and I find out she was having sex the whole time with other guys while on the the 5 day cruise. needless to say that ended.

    A month and a half later I am sitting here seeing my friends with their significant others, we go out and I'm the 3rd or 5th wheel. I see friends on Facebook with their spouses and talking about their weddings, and having babies. And I have yet to get anyone to talk to me, go on a date or even show interest. I just feel hopeless, depressed and wonder which witch I crossed that cursed me so damn bad. And I'm not looking for really anything I just felt that I needed to get this all off of my chest and this seemed like a good place to do it.

    Perhaps the old saying is true nice guys finish last... Thanks for reading my sad story.

  • #2
    Hey Saltlife, it sounds like you've having a rough time dealing with some loneliness. Let me just say: hang in there!
    You're only 28 years old. You've had a few bad relationships. That's no reason to feel like it's never going to happen.
    I happen to be the same age as you and I've only just found my forever guy last year. I've had my share of dysfunctional relationships and bad break-ups and heartbreak.

    However, I think that there are 2 traps that you should try to avoid falling into.
    1. Don't become pessimistic or cynical about your life. If you have that attitude radiating from you, you'll never draw a woman with a positive outlook on life towards you. You'll just be attracting the 'damaged' ones.
    2. Don't start to look for love in a desperate way. That's a huge red flag for women.

    What should you do? Just fill the blanks in your life with positive activities. Get a new hobby. Learn a new language. Travel somewhere exotic. Join a charity. DO some volunteer work.
    Fulfil your life and be happy. The women will come to you.
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf


    • #3
      I don't believe nice guys finish last. I believe nice guys finish first. I married a nice guy. Perhaps you can ask friends if they know any single friends you can meet. Join a club or a class. How about a cooking class? Boating club? Yoga? (Since you're into fitness.) Are you religious? How about church and singles groups there? Bible study groups? Think of where all the nice girls are. They're not out clubbing, cussing, drinking and drugging. If you want a nice girl, go to where nice girls congregate. Birds of a feather flock together.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


      • #4
        I agree with Chanelle. Nice guys don't finish last. Smart, nice guys definitely don't finish last. I think you should be looking at your choice in dates/women. They sound like bimbos. It's easy to fall into the same mistakes when you're dating. Until you take a good look at yourself and what you want and actually apply it to the dating scene, you're going to continue gathering those duds.