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8 months and still don't know where he lives??

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  • 8 months and still don't know where he lives??

    Am I crazy to trip about, after 8 months in a relationship, never having seen where he lays his head at night? He told me that he lives with his sister but I've never been there or seen the inside. I feel like there's more to it that he's hiding. He says he doesn't feel like he should have to prove where he lives... we just broke up over this because I can only take so much.

    What would you all think?



  • #2
    I would think that he's married.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      He may live in squalor or be ashamed that he's living in his sister's basement or his mother still washes his undies. Or perhaps he's married or already in a relationship with someone else and still cohabiting with them because he can't get his broke ass in order. Yes, it's weird. I'm surprised you let it get past the 2nd or 3rd date.

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      • #4
        You did the right thing ending it. He's married or otherwise in a committed relationship. I'm sure if you look back there will be a lot more red flags other then him not showing you where he lives.

        Did you do an online background check on him if that service is available in your area? (wouldn't be able to do it here in Canada due to privacy laws).
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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        • #5
          Yes I did a complete background check on him. The weird part is that I've been around his family, friends, been to his job, been to his church, some of his gigs (he's a drummer), etc. He's met my parents. But the two weird things are that most times he doesn't answer the phone at nights and about his living situation. Another weird thing is that he didn't want me to post any pics of him/us to the point where I don't even so much as open the camera app on my phone when we are out places. He would say he's a private person and doesn't want his relationship on social media.

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          • #6
            Have you met this sister he supposedly lives with?
            "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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            • #7
              No I haven't. He just told me her name but who knows. He says I overthink too much. I know I'm an over thinker but this seems too weird.

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              • #8
                He's dishonest and deceitful. Good thing you broke up with the loser. Good riddance!
                "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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                • #9
                  There's another twist to this... he has a son, 12 years old. I have 4 kids and we've all gone out before. He and his son have met my parents, went to dinner with them, etc. That's why it made it believable for so long. I was even at his church with him on New Years Eve to bring in the new year, hung out afterwards at his moms house. I know his son's mom is in a relationship with someone else cause she posts pictures of her and her guy all the time so she's not an issue. I've never met her. The son lives with his/my ex cause he's always with him...always day and night. Sometimes his mom goes to get him for different things... I just don't know what's going on with the living situation. He told me they stay in different places since he got laid off and lost his place but when I can't reach him during nights, I start to feel like he's not being honest or could be with another woman. It could be just me thinking too much into it??
                  Last edited by ochyld; February 27th, 2018, 05:33 AM.

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                  • #10
                    You've made it clear that you want to know where he lives.
                    The fact that he'd rather have you break up with him, than show you his home, is disturbing.

                    He has something to hide. You did the right thing. Don't second guess yourself.
                    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by ochyld View Post
                      No I haven't. He just told me her name but who knows. He says I overthink too much. I know I'm an over thinker but this seems too weird.
                      This is what players tell the women they are with that is starting to rock the boat.

                      Its good you broke up with him. However; it sure would have been interesting to hear his excuse if you asked to meet the sister he lives with.
                      Last edited by phasesofthemoon; February 27th, 2018, 02:53 PM.
                      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by ochyld View Post
                        There's another twist to this... he has a son, 12 years old. I have 4 kids and we've all gone out before. He and his son have met my parents, went to dinner with them, etc. That's why it made it believable for so long. I was even at his church with him on New Years Eve to bring in the new year, hung out afterwards at his moms house. I know his son's mom is in a relationship with someone else cause she posts pictures of her and her guy all the time so she's not an issue. I've never met her. The son lives with his/my ex cause he's always with him...always day and night. Sometimes his mom goes to get him for different things... I just don't know what's going on with the living situation. He told me they stay in different places since he got laid off and lost his place but when I can't reach him during nights, I start to feel like he's not being honest or could be with another woman. It could be just me thinking too much into it??
                        No, you're not thinking too much into it. He's concealing his life from you which doesn't add up. He goes to church? What a hypocrite. Apparently, honesty is not on his agenda. He doesn't practice what is preached. He doesn't walk the talk.
                        "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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                        • #13
                          Reeeaaally sounds like he has a girlfriend and therefore doesn't want you posting pictures of him anywhere and/or spontaneously show up at his place in case he has someone over.

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                          • #14
                            That's how I feel most times...

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by ochyld View Post
                              That's how I feel most times...
                              Then what are you going to do besides nothing?
                              "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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