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  • need relationship advice

    ok i feel like a jackass for even feeling concerned about this but here it goes. me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 months and things are really serious. no girl has ever made me feel like she does and we have even gotten to the point where we talk about our future together and she has even looked up wedding venues and dresses. but thats beside the point. she has alot of guy friends which i know shouldnt be concerning but the thing is she seems so naive to guys acctual intentions ans even though i trust her and know that shewont act on anything i really have a hard time with the fact that these guys may thik that they could possibly steal her or that she accidently seems like shes flirting. she has snapchat streaks with some of her exes and other guys that shes hooked up with. now by streaks i mean shell send out a mass message to everyone she has a streak with and usually nothing more. it bothers me when theae guys send a selfie where they are obviously trying to look attractive or will be shirtless. ive told her about how these streaks bother me sometimes but she hasnt made an effort to change it. she has a hand full of guy friends that i fully trust and i have no problem with her hanging out with them. its just that sometimes it seems like she goes out of her way to conversate and make friends with gus when she is naive to their true intentions sometimes. we had a small falling out today because she is talking about going on a spring break trip with 3 guy friands and 2 other girlfriends i trust the guys and the girls but i sort of have a hard time with the fact that it can be seen as 3 couples on the trip instead of friends. i feel bad for tripping about this its just sometimes i get tired of her always being with a guy

  • #2
    Your personalities are not compatible. Try finding a girl whose MO is a lot more like yours. I do not suggest this getting any more serious than it appears to be. Your judgment is clouded by infatuation at the moment.

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    • #3
      just to eloborate me and her get along very well most of the time we just have small fall outs about things like this. one time i got really upset and hinted twards the fact of breaking up (which i didt actually mean) and she started crying uncontrollably and continues to appoligize saying that shes being a terrible girlfriend and that she always fucks things up. at the end of arguments i always end up having to appoligize and feel really bad about anything i said. our personalities might not be completely like by alot of times it keeps things interesting. we are trully 100% in love with each othr. i know most people will have their own opinion about how the relationship will play out but we trully intend on sticking it out for the long haul. is there any advice that i could use moving forward with our relationship

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      • #4
        also a clarification we are both 19 year old college students. lets just say i messed up first semester and wont be able to return until next semester. she is in college 2 hours away from where i live and we facetime every night. i feel that alot of our problems are starting to come wit the distance

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        • #5
          If you do insist working through this, you're going to work on yourself and be less insecure. Most people don't manage this well. You either are secure and comfortable with a situation or you are not. Dumbing things down and forcing yourself to stay silent will worsen your innermost fears/resentments and it'll only result in volcanic explosions and arguments later on. She's not going to change and she made that clear. You can eat that up or you can walk away.

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          • #6
            ive tried to voice any concerns ive had in a non aggressive simply conversational way but most the time when i do she gets defensive or starts to argue that i dont trust her.

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            • #7
              That's because of your personality clash. She's inconsiderate and rude and you're a big nag. She doesn't like changing for anyone and she likes what she does. You just keep nagging her and it's annoying and looks bad on you.

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              • #8
                She's not ready to settle down into a committed relationship. Someone who is in love and committed doesn't go off on a spring break trip with other guys.

                She's in college 2 hours away from you. She wants to have fun and not have a weight around her neck. I recommend finding someone local with whom you can have a more meaningful relationship. If you still want to pursue her, you're going to have to let her do what she needs to do.
                Last edited by SarahLancaster; February 9th, 2018, 09:40 AM.
                "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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