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What to make of this....He said he was going through somethings then vanished

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  • What to make of this....He said he was going through somethings then vanished

    Met a great guy online, we live 4 hours apart, Continued seeing each other as often as our lives would allow for 8-9 months, text each other daily, talked on the phone almost daily for hours on end. both are in our 40s and divorced with kids and careers but still clicked and had lots of fun. Then out of the blue he went without texting or calling for a few days,(I mean we had plans for the upcoming weekend and boom), When he finally did text after the few days his response was "he was going through somethings and was just keeping to himself" I tried calling him as text felt informal at this point, wanted to let him know I cared and was here for him. He didn't answer but immediately text that he didn't want to talk about what he was going through. This guy had been pretty open about things it seemed in the past months while getting to know him, so this was alarming. I didn't text or call him to give him the space he desired, this went on for weeks. One day I sent a simple Thinking of you text which went unanswered, after another week or so of no reply, I called him and his number was changed. We weren't friends on the usual social media sites, however when I looked him up on the accounts I knew he had,(facebook, instagram, pintrest, the dating site we met on) all but one had been deleted. The remaining account (Pintrest) had recent activity on it, so that was confirmation he's still among the living, lol. it has been a few months since all of this, I miss him terribly and I'm just baffled by this behavior.
    Last edited by baffled-dater; February 7th, 2018, 12:10 AM.

  • #2
    Consider it his message that he's no longer interested in you. Rejection hurts but that's the reality of the situation. No guy is great if he's charming and then his true colors come out later. Beware what lurks underneath the veneer of charm. I'm not baffled. Nothing surprises me anymore. At the end of the day, nothing is more important than the quality of one's character.
    "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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    • #3
      The 'something' that he was going through is that he met someone new. There's absolutely no doubt about that. Nothing baffling about it.

      Try to meet someone with whom you can have a real relationship.
      "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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      • #4
        You dodged a bullet, sweetheart.
        Count your lucky stars. You won't get those 8-9 months of your life back, and despite the fact that YOU felt you had a connection with HIM, there's a reason he isn't in the picture anymore.

        No one, including you, actually knows WHY he ghosted you, but for whatever reason, fate has stepped in and lent you a hand.

        Thank her, and get back on that site and try again.

        It really is that simple.
        The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

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        • #5
          "he was going through somethings and was just keeping to himself"
          that either means he met someone else or his wife was getting suspicious and he could no longer keep things with you on the down low. Have you ever been to his home or his town?

          Why would you not restrict your profile setting to meeting men within a short car ride from where you live? Four hours away from someone is just leaving yourself open to players, married men, and those who are not going to commit to anything serious with you. At your ages not too many men are going to uproot from their jobs or kids (if they have any) to be with you.
          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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          • #6
            He's not interested in you. It's a terrible way to find out but he's just not interested in you and like someone else mentioned, he's most likely busy with other things(or people). Next time when dating read the signs better and don't go talking for hours on end with someone who's not on the same page as you to start with. You should know what you want and set up your own boundaries about what you will and won't do when getting to know someone. Ie. don't waste your time getting brainwashed or influenced by someone hours away almost daily without something concrete to work with in the first place.

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            • #7
              Here is the link and you can try https://loveinchat.com/?pid=291. Who knows maybe here and today you will find your chosen one)

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