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Friend hooking up with FWB?!

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  • Friend hooking up with FWB?!

    Friend hooking up with FWB?!

    So, background information - I am currently a 17 yr old female and will be 18 soon. My 'friend' for the purposes of this will be called Person A, she is also 17, nearly 18. The guy, supposedly my fwb is 20, and for the purposes of this is called Person B.

    So myself and person B started hooking up the end of October/start of November 2017.. things were great. However, person A started working with person B and she apparently began to start liking him, this then progressed when she thought that she was talking to him, even though person B and I were still having sex. Person A is now regularly seeing person B and quite frankly this is pretty shit because I thought that she was a close friend, evidently not because she hasn't even told me, my real friends have just told me things they've heard.

    Basically, need some advice on what to do about this situation... we established that we weren't going to hook up with other people, but that we didn't want a relationship/commitment, I was sticking to this, and he obviously isn't, though I'm not totally sure if they've had sex, but they have kissed at least.
    I kinda like him, and he was giving indications of liking me too, but this has thrown me and now person A is coming to my party which I'm not totally happy about, and I was going to invite person B but think things would get out of hand. But I am also driving myself, person A and another friend to a concert on Friday and I don't want to be a dick, but I really don't feel like taking her because it will ruin the concert, but have no solution to this?

    Any advice/reassurance that I'm not totally losing my shit or being irrational in hating both person A and B!?!

    Thanks in advance x

  • #2
    Did A know that you were fucking B?

    Anyway, doesn't matter. You and B were just using each other for an orgasm... that's what FWB is... it doesn't mean you get to be angry if he starts seeing someone else.

    Tell your ego to shut up and get on with being the "friend" in the FWB. Right now you're just being jealous and resentful.

    If you don't want to be replaced then stop being someone's fuck buddy and only get into sexual situation with men who have actually committed to you in a relationship.

    In the dynamic the two of you are in, you have no dibs on him. You agreed to that. The only thing you can do is tell him you're stopping the benefits part of your friendship because sooner then later, if not already, he'll be fucking her and you don't want an STD/I by sharing.
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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    • #3
      You say you were "friends with benefits".
      Do you even know what that term means?
      It doesn't mean you're exclusively dating/sleeping together but holding out on making a committment to each other a bit longer.
      FWB is not the step that comes before a relationship. It's the thing you do when there will never be a relationship.
      It means you have sex, with no obligations or strings attached. If your friend messes around with someone else, that's just fine. He owes you nothing. Your friend who wants to pursue something with B, also owes you nothing.

      Make up your mind on what you want? Do you want casual, no strings attached sex with him, then let go of any claim you think you have on him.
      Do you actually like him and hope this turns into a relationship one day? Be honest with him. He might refuse and break your heart, but at least you'll know.
      Last edited by Ayla; February 7th, 2018, 07:48 AM.

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      • #4
        I agree with both of the above. There's no such thing as an exclusive FWB.

        You certainly have no right to be mad if your female friend has no idea you have been fucking this guy. Does she know?

        Even if she does know, it doesn't really matter if you've only told her that you're FWB. Would be different if you were dating this guy.
        Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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