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Is my Ex's Flatmate getting in the way of us getting back together/

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  • Is my Ex's Flatmate getting in the way of us getting back together/

    Hey, all

    So I have a weird question to pose... I posted a previous topic about myself and my ex spending time together. We had been broken up for a few months and have, since the beginning of this year, started communicating. We met up and both admitted we still have feelings for each other. We agreed that with both our working hours in mind, we'd like to meet up when we can and see where things go if they do go anywhere but we are definitely both interested. She hasn't dated anyone since me.

    Well we've met up twice since the first time and they've both been awesome. We met on our days off and spend a good few hours just chatting. We've talked a lot about everything going on with our lives, we haven't made any moves on each other just yet other than flirting and saying we'll spend a night together when we've both got a night off. It's actually really fun, we only contact each other every few days and I think we both have a good understanding of our expectations and that we're taking things slow.

    Well, here's the only thing that's got me a tad worried but I don't really wanna say anything just yet:

    My ex, Claire (not her real name) moved into a flat share during our breakup to save money. Well I've been aware that there's a guy who lives in the same flat as her called Ryan (again, not his name) who has a pretty big thing for her. I've met him before through friends as he knows some of mine and I'd heard he was pretty jealous as he had seen me and Claire a few times and fancied her. Nothing to worry about. Until I found out they now lived in the same building. Claire immediately told me that she's aware he fancies her but she's not interested in him in the slightest but is on friendly terms with him. She's told him before she's not interested but he continues to flirt, something she tries to ignore, especially since she's told him she still likes me.

    When I met up with her on Tuesday, the first thing I see is him and her walking down the street to meet me. He explained he was going to town anyway and wanted to walk her, he looked visibly irritated to see me and even went so far as to invite himself out with the two of us. We both declined and carried on our way. I haven't really said much else about it but Claire's phone kept going off all day with him texting her to see what time she'd be heading home. She expressed how he's alright to talk to but really annoying and how he keeps inviting himself over to her room to "hang out".

    She's not my girlfriend again or anything but I'm started to already see a red flag already now. Caire's a people person and doesn't like to upset anyone so I know she'll continue to be his friend but I'm just a bit concerned that he's gonna keep trying stuff, what with them living in the same building.
    Last edited by DaffyBugs; February 4th, 2018, 04:29 PM.

  • #2
    With whom are you seeing a red flag? Certainly not Ryan. He has done nothing wrong. If your ex girlfriend truly didn't want him to be texting her, she would put a stop to it. If she didn't want him to keep inviting himself over to her room, she would put a stop to it. He's not the problem.

    Your ex girlfriend is free to do anything she wants. You need to take the high road and let her decide if she wants to be with again. If you get back together, then you can talk about relationship rules and her closeness to him. But now, it's really not your business.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


    • #3
      She's your ex and you need to start drifting apart in a healthy way. Once you broke up, it's not always ideal to do the friendlies thing post-breakup. It's better for both of you to go your separate ways otherwise the other guy in her building will always annoy and irritate you. She has her own life as do you ~ apart and no longer a couple.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


      • #4
        I couldn't agree more with Sarah and Chanelle. You're butting heads over used goods. Over means over. The relationship is done. What she does with Ryan is none of your business and her style of communicating must be extremely ineffective if she's not able to keep a neighbour from texting her around the clock. If she wants to be with you she works to be with you and don't make yourself so available.