No announcement yet.

And I being played?

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • And I being played?

    so my boyfriend and I have only been dating for 6 months. we fell inlove very quickly. talked about getting engaged and purchasing house. he told me he had already purchased the ring and we were setting plans to go to greece for my birthday and proposal. I knows I have some insecurities from last relationships and I tend to let social media win over me. I made him delete his facebook that had ton of girls on there made him delete girls off instagram if I didnít feel comfortable. heís never give me a any reasons to trust him I just get insecure and I knit pick and try and find things to start arguments with out even doing it on purpose. heís tired of me accusing him which I donít blame him. so he recently told me that he wants to take a break. so he wouldnít answer me or anything. then finally he came around and started texting me and calling me seeing what iím doing. saying he loves me and misses me. kept telling me he would come see me to talk but then never would. always seemed like an excuse was being made up.

    basically long story short he eventually came around and started messaging me asking what iím doing etc saying he loved me and missed me seen me for short period of time other day but seems like always an excuse to not see me. tells me heís still in love w me and what not. but he just wants me to trust him. and I just asked him if weíre together or not he said we will be back together just wants to take it slow. he asked me other day to stop by and he kissed me and hugged me like weíre a couple.

    heís always asking if i miss him and worrying what iím doing. says heís an idiot for breaking up with me. then wants to take it slow? I mean idk if I could believe him or heís just leading me on. I know he loves me heís proven to me and I can feel it when he says it maybe heís looking out for the best for us?

    he deleted all our pics on instagram too. he said bc he was mad and wanted to hurt me. so changed my status on facebook and blocked him on instagram bc I know I would stalk and I didnít want to find something I didnít wanna wsnt to see. I know very petty

    so basicslly wondering if yous thihk that he really does love me and just needs the space and time for me to prove to him that I can trust him or heís playimg mind games?

  • #2
    If he wants to take it slow, he goes to you. You don't go to him and don't take the bus, don't drive your car, don't even pick up the phone and call him. He can call you and you can let it go to missed call too. Call him back another time. Don't answer his childish questions about whether you miss him and don't participate in his anxiety attacks about what you are doing. Half of it is none of his business like what days you wash your hair and none of it is his business if you are not a couple. Period.

    If he wants information from you, he offers information about him first. Measure your privacy and respect yourself.


    • #3
      He's being cautious and you should, too. Don't rush into marriage. If you're incompatible now, it'll only grow worse during marriage.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


      • #4
        So you've been together for 6 months and went from being in love and talking about marriage to breaking up, back together and taking things slow... Talk about a drama filled rollercoaster, jeez. Has it ever occurred to you that you were going way too fast to begin with, talking about marriage with someone you hardly know? No wonder he got cold feet. You two were rushing into this with your eyes closed.
        I can't disagree with him on the insecurity from your part. It would have me fed up as well. If you can't trust the guy, what on earth are you doing talking about marriage?
        Building trust is the beginning of every relationship. You seem to have skipped that phase and went straight to the next. This is what happens when you don't get the foundations of your relationship straight.

        Take it slow, like he says. Work on the foundations, before even mentioning marriage.
        You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf


        • #5
          Neither of you love the other.
          You have what's called infatuous love which is a very unstable foundation. A long term relationship cannot be built on that.

          6 months is still in the honeymoon period. You are both only now getting to know each other. Make or break time.

          Its broken.

          His minimal contact with you is making it easier for him to move on. Knowing you are still there. But he is not going back to you. Just nice to know he can. But the more you reach out to him the more he will resist. You are his safety blanket for his weak moments only.


          • #6
            I would be terrified if after 6 months of dating there was talk of marriage or purchasing joint property. He sounds really insecure, and I really would back off from this guy.
            "Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity" ~ Edwin Hubbel Chapin


            • #7
              Originally posted by chanelle View Post
              He's being cautious and you should, too. Don't rush into marriage. If you're incompatible now, it'll only grow worse during marriage.
              He's not being "cautious" he's grooming her to be there when he wants her to be and gone when he deems it.

              Block and delete him from everything and get on with your life without him. Men who love you will not want to take things slow after they've already come on strong like he did. If someone tells you they want to marry you within a six month dating period, tell them to stop their nonsense.
              "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!