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First few days after gf divorce.

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  • First few days after gf divorce.

    So its been the first couple of days after her divorce of 10 years.

    So far, confusing.

    Cold as the night before flying, went from really wanting me at the airport to being basically like yeah if youd like you can but you dont have to

    So that night i went from happy to feeling a little down but i still went at 6 am took flowers and she arroved - looking exhausted but smiling to see me , we spent the day, we spoke and talked and it was positive, (kinda feel spoking may of pushed her slightly away?) we were affectionete towards each other, dinner date and our sex together was good like it normally is together.

    Next day she was good then tonight on the phone i was interupted by a room mate twices as they didnt know i was on the phone she goes oh your busy we can talk later, i said no its fine and she replied the same then hung up.

    Later i called her and said hey why did you hang up, i thought you may want to see each other or miss me or anything instead just hung up on... then all of a sudden she explained she had planned to come to my house and spend it with me but she got annoyed..

    i offered to give space she said no, later i said hey we are a little different are you sure you dont, replies well you keep asking so maybe i do then.
    At the end she replied dont give me to much space i dont like being apart

    Im assuming these are all normal sort of things due to her divorce but its really tough hearing the girl say the papers done im single now to be with you, make love and be how it was before then turns completely cold on me.

    Can any1 offer advice hot to approach /how they have dealt with divorce.
    are these normal signs?
    should i embrace the loving happy times but relax and not take it as anything serious when she feels super cold and says shes not?

    I chose this but boy its confusing

    Last edited by canada123; January 30th, 2018, 12:23 AM.

  • #2
    Your last post was you having doubts and now you are concerned about hers?

    Divorce is emotional turmoil. Even if several years after separating.
    It's confronting.

    You have only been together 4 months. She is divorcing a man of ten years. She was with him 30 times the length she has been with you. What did you expect? Her divorce (depending on amicability and financial agreements) might take years to finalise.
    She is only truly available after that. Until then you may expect the hot and cold treatment.
    If you can't handle that and the uncertainty that comes with it , then bail.

    One red flag .... she intended on coming over to yours and spend the evening with you but got annoyed?? So you are meant to be a mind reader??? What gives her that freedom or right to decide what you are doing on a given night without prior discussion?

    For that reason alone , i would kick her to the curb. Combined with your own doubts that's enough to end it and move on so you are free to be with someone who is actually available emotionally. She isn't.


    • #3
      I think you're overanalyzing a very small blip, not even an issue. She just got back from a flight etc (not sure how long it was or if there was a time difference) and she's tired with a lot on her mind after traveling especially with a specific purpose. You having a roommate interrupting is annoying. Also are you looking to get out of the roommate situation or are you continuously going to have a roommate around? I haven't had a roommate since I was in university and privacy was always wanting. I could never live with a roommate ever again and would rather (personally) live in garage or war bunker alone. She may not be prepared to go over and spend time with you and run into your roommates or get interrupted, however minor and unplanned it is. Just take it easy and don't get worked up over this.


      • #4
        Im assuming these are all normal sort of things due to her divorce but its really tough hearing the girl say the papers done im single now to be with you, make love and be how it was before then turns completely cold on me.
        She didn't turn cold on you. She was annoyed with the interruptions from your room mates which I think anyone would be if they thought the partner they hadn't seen in a while wasn't making them a priority. YOU were the one that offered to give her space that she didn't even ask for. So... what's going on with you? Are you unsure about her now that shes actually completely free to be with you?

        From what I read, you're the one that is acting indecisive and who is backing away.
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!