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No contact out of the blue! He's deaf and lives far away, how to let go?

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  • No contact out of the blue! He's deaf and lives far away, how to let go?

    Hi guys! I'm not very familiar with posting on forums but i really need some support and the view of outsiders on my situation. I will try to keep it short! I'm Athkora, i study agricultural science and i live in germany.

    I posted this thread on the chase, but it might be better to post it here.

    Last year in march i traveled to Africa for work. I worked in a city but traveled to an oasis a few times. I met someone in this oasis in the middle of nowhere. I will call him S. I saw S. a few times with a few weeks in between and we started to hand out as friends. The third time i went to this oasis, i began to develop feelings for him. Before i didn't find him very attractive physically, but i got to know him and slowly fell in love.

    He is deaf, so communicating was difficult in the beginning. No official sign lanuage and he cannot write. But i started to feel a connection between us and i saw his kindness, he treated animals and people with a lot of love and so much kindness.

    When i was in the city, we used to send each other messages on facebook, manly emoticons. And we video called many times. During my third visit in the oasis, in july, he told me he loved me. He wanted to have sex with me but i kept some distance. I left to the city, we kept in touch and three weeks later i went to the oasis again. We eventually had sex this time, and we had a lot of fun together. He showed me around the oasis and treated me with a lot of affection. I knew he only had sex with a girl once before in his life. He liked many girls but it was difficult to get to know them. I felt like he really deserved to receive some love.. i never met someone so genuine as him. One of the only people that really took care of the animals in the oasis, something that is not very common in this area.

    A few days later i had to return to Germany for my study. We said goodbye and we kept in touch when i was in Germany. In december i went back. I did not know how strong my feelings for him were, which i discovered when i saw him again. I was madly in love. But also had been dating a guy in Germany in the mean time and i did not know if he was okay with me having sex with someone else. S. Tried to seduce me a couple of times and i kept pushing him away.

    It was very difficult but it didn't feel fair to my date in Germany. I went from the oasis to the city again and kept in touch with S. He knew that i loved him, that was very clear. I think everyone knew. Lots of people saw us together and everyone told me that they could see so much love and affection between us. I told him about my date and that i did not want to hurt anyone. He understood and respected this. We continued to hang out and went on a lot of adventures together. We made new friends togethee. I met some of his friends, and he met a lot of my friends from the city and from Germany.

    Back in the city i spoke with my date about everything. He said that i was free to do whatever i want, he would do the same.

    Three weeks later i went to the oasis again and saw S. I was madly in love. He is such a good person and i wanted him to feel love from a woman, as he never really experienced that fully. I gave him everything. All of my love and affection, to show him that he's really worth it. We spent a lot of time together and had so much fun. We had sex almost every night, it was great. He was very honest about not wanting a relationship now and he liked many girls. Fine with me, i just want him to be happy. Maybe one time i was a bit jealous, and he saw that. He was talking about this girl again and i was drunk and told him to fuckoff, half-joking. Saying goodbye was quite hard for me. I did not really show this, because he was calm about it too. I went back to Germany. But now there is a sudden radio silence. He does not text me or call me anymore, he almost did this every day before. I dont know what to think, as i can not talk with him. Is it hardfor him? Or was i too much? or was i too 'easy to get' in the end? I don't know what to think! He lives a very isolated life and every time i went to the oasis we had lots of fun, i also took friends with me many times. Maybe he feels lonely... or he thinks i'm a ... Or suddenly wants to let me go. But i don't know why, out of the blue.. my best friend from Germany also built a nice friendhio with him when she visited me 3 times, and he doesn't contact her anymore too. He also used to call her very often before.

    I try to be positive about it, because i felt so much love coming from him. It felt so real. Many of me friends saw a deep connection between us. Many of his friends could easily tell that we were in love. But i cant help it, i feel so abandoned and rejected. He was so into me, and now he seems to be not interested anymore at all. Anyone knows how to deal with this? I have to let go but cannot get any closure.

    in short: i fell in love with a deaf guy abroad. We had something very special over the course of 5 months. We used to have a lot of contact when we were apart, but he suddenly doesn't contact me at all anymore after the last time we saw each other. I don't know how to let this go as i can't talk with him so i don't know what is going on.

    Thanks in advance for reading this all
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