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My ex always sends me mixed signals and it hurts

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  • My ex always sends me mixed signals and it hurts

    Hi guys. I was just wondering if anyone has any ideas as to why my ex treats me like this? Because I've been stumped for a while now.
    As a person he is pretty quiet and reserved, kind of shy but we know each other well and we've been through a lot together. In March it will be a year since we broke up. Our breakup is a long story, he basically said he didn't know what he wanted and we ended it amicably. We are in school together so we see each other every day.
    Last week my ex called me saying he planned on paying me back some money he owed me and we got to chatting for over an hour. We caught up and talked about everything, we just laughed and had a really nice conversation like old times. I could tell he wanted to talk to me because every time there was a lull in the conversation he would quickly bring up another topic or ask me a question. He didn't want to hang up until it was 11 pm and he was going to sleep. While we were on the phone he was also asking me when we could hang out. I mentioned that my birthday is next week and he said he was going to get me something and if I have a party he'll come.
    I didn't see him much last week because we had snow days, but every time I pass him in the halls he smiles at me and says hi. Today he said hi in the morning but I saw him like 3 more times and he didn't say anything, which made me feel like he was mad at me for some reason, but I didn't do anything.
    He tends to do that, like whenever we sit down together and chat or talk on the phone we end up having a great conversation and he seems really into me. When we talk I feel that we are perfect together. But sometimes I feel like he just ignores me. For example, last month he made plans with me to go into the city to buy something, and when the day came that we were supposed to go neither of us brought it up so I figured he changed his mind about wanting to go or just forgot. Other times we'll be in a room together and he goes on his phone and doesn't really talk to me. But some days he will enter a room and sit next to me and we'll talk our heads off.
    I just don't understand why he would go out of his way to make plans with me and then act weird afterwards.
    If he was anyone else I would forget it and not care but I really do love him and he is a special person to me...when he gives me hope of getting back together I focus on him and it's really bad because he flip-flops like this.

  • #2
    Originally posted by ilovesocks View Post
    Hi guys. I was just wondering if anyone has any ideas as to why my ex treats me like this? Because I've been stumped for a while now.
    As a person he is pretty quiet and reserved, kind of shy but we know each other well and we've been through a lot together. In March it will be a year since we broke up. Our breakup is a long story, he basically said he didn't know what he wanted and we ended it amicably. We are in school together so we see each other every day.
    Last week my ex called me saying he planned on paying me back some money he owed me and we got to chatting for over an hour. We caught up and talked about everything, we just laughed and had a really nice conversation like old times. I could tell he wanted to talk to me because every time there was a lull in the conversation he would quickly bring up another topic or ask me a question. He didn't want to hang up until it was 11 pm and he was going to sleep. While we were on the phone he was also asking me when we could hang out. I mentioned that my birthday is next week and he said he was going to get me something and if I have a party he'll come.
    I didn't see him much last week because we had snow days, but every time I pass him in the halls he smiles at me and says hi. Today he said hi in the morning but I saw him like 3 more times and he didn't say anything, which made me feel like he was mad at me for some reason, but I didn't do anything.
    He tends to do that, like whenever we sit down together and chat or talk on the phone we end up having a great conversation and he seems really into me. When we talk I feel that we are perfect together. But sometimes I feel like he just ignores me. For example, last month he made plans with me to go into the city to buy something, and when the day came that we were supposed to go neither of us brought it up so I figured he changed his mind about wanting to go or just forgot. Other times we'll be in a room together and he goes on his phone and doesn't really talk to me. But some days he will enter a room and sit next to me and we'll talk our heads off.
    I just don't understand why he would go out of his way to make plans with me and then act weird afterwards.
    If he was anyone else I would forget it and not care but I really do love him and he is a special person to me...when he gives me hope of getting back together I focus on him and it's really bad because he flip-flops like this.
    To start with he ended the relationship.
    You don't know why because people rarely tell the truth why. He gave you the heave ho with a bland generic doesn't know what he wants blah blah

    You say you love him but I fail to see why when he is being an asshole to you. And why do you allow that?

    You and him only speak when he wants to. ie when he has nothing else to do or not busy with his phone. Why are you giving him that control? Why can't you speak to him when YOU want to? Because you don't have any power or control of the situation.

    Stop being so available to someone who has put zero effort into even being a friend.

    He might not know what he wants, but he knows what he doesn't want. And that's you. Sorry that sounds harsh but I'm only deducting that from your description of his behaviour. Perhaps he is not intentionally setting out to hurt you but it's your own false hopes that's hurting you.

    As long as you remain his puppet on a string , you are not available to others who will want to date you.

    I think you actively need to remove all hopes and become indifferent to him.
    Stop being so available to him.

    Good luck!

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