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Wife had an emotional affair for year. How do I move forward?

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  • Wife had an emotional affair for year. How do I move forward?

    My wife became very good friends with a girl a bit younger than her about 18 months ago. I knew pretty soon thereafter that my wife had a crush on her, but didn't think there was anything nefarious about it. During that time, my wife has been physically and emotionally checked out of our relationship - no excitement, no passion, barely any attention...she spent all her time texting with her new friend...sometimes really, really late at night/early in the morning. Fast-forward to last week and I happen upon messages my wife sent to her friend. The messages contained stuff like "I want to kiss you. Who knows? Maybe it will happen"...."I want to ride you"..."I can't help but imagine you on top", etc.

    I've since confronted her about it. She feels badly and ashamed about it. I want to try to make it work, but I have so much anger and hurt and I just don't know if I can practically ever forgive her and love her again the way I used to. I'm afraid that however much healing might occur, I'll just think about it all again even years down the line, and be sick to my stomach all over again and I feel this is bad for her and me ultimately. One important fact is that we have two kids together, ages 4 and 2...

    Obviously it's up to what I decide to do and we are going to marriage counseling tomorrow, but I want to hear your perspective. Thanks