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Confused as hell, what could be going on?

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  • Confused as hell, what could be going on?

    Hi there, need some advice about what you all think is going on, and if I am dealing with it properly. In the interest of saving time, I'll use bullet points instead of long paragraphs.

    -Met a girl in Nov, 2016, started dating exclusively in Dec, 2016. She had been split from her very abusive ex for 2 years. In the early stages she had 1-2 panic attacks at night when sleeping together (Apr-May)
    -I work in Northern Alberta and fly out to work for 7 days away and 7 days home. so we only see each other a few times a month, but the time was quality and great.
    -Things were going great all summer/fall of 2017, there were I love you's etc, kids got along great together.
    -Up to Nov 2017 (mid) things were amazing, hours spent laying in the sun snuggling, cooking together etc.
    -Then for no reason she got distant, no more texts, calls, pictures etc. I gave her 3 weeks before I asked if I'd lost her, her reply "No i'm just working on myself, getting help and will be okay.....I Miss you tons"
    -She works extensive hours (6 days a week) and is treated terribly by her boss (friend of her ex), she got hurt at work is on light duties and in pain, her daughter is being difficult, and her ex is showing up at her place randomly.
    -We still text throughout the day but won't answer phone calls or discuss the relationship (anything but).
    -New Years eve and she said she still loved me but wouldn't talk about anything else.
    -I'm not the physical type have never raised my hand or my voice to her, have tried to show her a safe place.
    -Last physical contact was Nov 9, (bear in mind I'm gone for work every other week), last thing i said to her (in front of both our daughters) was "I love you"
    -So here we are, we text constantly, still calls me hun, sends selfies, but refuses to talk about "US", I said I'd had enough of the silence the other day and she got angry and told me I "should just walk away" but won't say more.
    -I Love her very much and want to reconcile with her, but am beyond frustrated. I've made my desires to stay together very clear, but have also said if she wants to end it I understand and accept it (no reply).
    -So my take on it is (based on one sided info I admit), I choose to believe she is overly stressed and withdrawing, perhaps even "taking a break" in her mind, (bear in mind, she never discussed it), brought it up or even really said she was unhappy, we still talk and she said she still loved me a week ago), what do you guys think?
    -Am I being too optimistic?
    -Its only been a few weeks and with her past I know how difficult it can be to reach out, I have been trying to talk to her about it for a few days now with no luck (or acknowledgement of any kind), should I stop talking to her all together?
    -all she's said is that I didn't listen closely enough when she tried to share her demons (I talked to a counsellor friend about her situation early in the relationship and was told she would share when she was ready)
    -Keep talking about the random stuff and leave the relationship stuff off the table? Keep asking her once a day?
    -Like I said, I choose to be here, and am treating it as a break, and I am not interested in dating or even flirting with anyone, but am prepared for a split if she wants it. (But she's never said anything one way or the other which is what's confusing me).

    Or better yet, what can I do to maximize my chances of getting us back together (not even sure we've split, but it feels like it)?
    Last edited by scuffedboots; January 8th, 2018, 10:16 PM. Reason: editted to add more details