I'm new here, and I'm posting because I really need some help right now getting over my ex.
My ex and I got together in 2008. He's 12 years older than me. It was pretty much a lust thing but although the sexual side of things has always been very good between us, we struggled to make the rest of the relationship work. Lots of nasty rows, jealousy and he found it very difficult to make a relationship that worked with my child.
I finally broke it off with him a year ago and he moved to a different flat. BUT because we still had a physical attraction/bond between us we just started dating each other and didn't move on! Over the year we've had some wonderful times, but some very hard times too. My child would NOT want me to get back together with him and so we've been in a limbo situation.
Things went really downhill recently where we both started realising this wasn't going to work. I "saw" a few other men but *not* sexually and they did nothing for me (just realised I still wanted him). He also went on dating sites.
Then three weeks ago we had a fabulous expensive meal out and he bought me an EXTREMELY expensive present. The next day he was not in touch... remained that way for a while and then I saw on his Facebook that he is "in a relationship". This was a surprise for me and I felt really strange - even though our relationship wasn't working I have strong feelings for him and after the meal, really thought things were getting better!
Anyway as we work together we still see each other and he said he was still attracted to me AND he said he's not in love with the new gf, he's trying to see if he can move on from me and our situation by getting together with someone else. The new gf is completely different from me in looks, age (she's his age) outlook, personality.
Today I did an unforgivable thing. I went to see him and within 2 minutes we were in bed. I don't know WHY I did it. Now I feel absolutely completely awful. He has said he's going to consider whether we should get back together as he's not in love with his gf but I feel absolutely terrible. I do have feelings for him but at the moment they are very hurt ones.
Please help me move on, even if you have to be harsh I am struggling to get through the day at the moment and really need support (I can't tell my friends about this as they have banned me from all contact with him as they know he upsets me dreadfully).
I have nothing against my ex's gf, nothing against him either I just want to get out of this situation, but I keep feeling jealous unhappy thoughts.
Thanks for listening to me.