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Just not normal ...

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  • Just not normal ...

    So, i've been dating this girl for 3 1/2 months... Here is the story.

    Over the last 3 1/2 months I have been to her house 4 times. We have never been on a date, never have gone out to dinner, movie, etc ... nothing. The only time I see her is at her work or mine. We live in a tiny little resort town (Actually, she lives about 25 minutes from me) and I would go see her Thursday, and Sunday nights at her work.

    Friday and Saturday nights she would come into mine for an hour or two. This is the only time we spent together. She continuously tells me that she is madly and crazy in love with me, tells me how amazing I am, the best man she has ever met. We talk on the phone mostly all day, but there are times when I don't hear from her, then she'll call and tell me she had something come up, and its a different excuse every time.

    I don't hear from her for an hour or so... after she told me she had to go look at an apartment at 6pm at night, just outta the blue. We had been talking all day then all of a sudden she's gotta go look at a place. She's got guys calling and texting all the time and she always hides her phone from me. If you were crazy in love with someone, wouldn't you want to spend time with that person? I dunno... maybe I could be wrong. But its just not normal to NOT spend time when you say you're in love with someone. In the 3 1/2 months I have only met one of her friends, and that's because they came into the bar I work at. Never met any of her family, nothing!

    The way she acts tells me she has secrets and maybe playing games. I could be wrong, but I don't think so. I really feel like something is going on. Would any of you out there deal with dating someone and never spending any time together? Isn't that how you grow together? She told me she would marry me RIGHT NOW if I ask her. But she's getting ready to move and she'll be about 45 minutes away from me. I said something about moving together but she was totally against that.

    She told me that she won't live with me because she likes being by herself and needs her space. But if we were to get married in 5 months, how could that change in such a short amount of time. We have "broken up" a few times because of the issue of not seeing each other. That really was our only problem... But now there are so many other issues because of that one. She's still pissed and hasn't gotten over the fact that I had done something wrong 2 months ago. Don't even ask me about our sex life... It's non existent ... I've had sex with her 2 times in 3/12 months. Something else that isn't normal.

    And, I mean by "normal" is this... EVERY relationship I've been in, has been the complete opposite of this one. Any girl I have ever been with has spent time with me, gone out with me. Dates, meeting family, friends, etc ... All we do is talk and text basically.

    Thanks for listening to me vent... but would love to hear some advice or comments!

  • #2
    Re: Just not normal ...

    So then why are you still pining for her?

    I got an idea. Ask her to marry you. She said she's do it if you asked.

    I'm kidding that was just calling her on a bluff.

    Personally i don't see why you want to waste any more time on her if all this is happening after a short 3 1/2 months.

    Why don't you completely stop contact with her and see what transpires?
    There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. People who do not experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others.


    • #3
      Re: Just not normal ...

      It seems she has other relationship.... sorry


      • #4
        Re: Just not normal ...

        But she's getting ready to move and she'll be about 45 minutes away from me. I said something about moving together but she was totally against that.
        You need to step back a bit and take back your emotions for this girl. After 3 months you're asking her to move in with you and yet you don't even know who the hell she is, who her family is, nor have you met her friends.

        You sound desparate and fearful. I'm sure she senses the same thing from you.

        At this point you sound like her fk buddy and not her exclusive boyfriend. Have you talked to her about being exclusive?
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!