I have been with the same girl for almost 2.5 years. We have previously talked about marriage, as well as future events. We have lived together for....roughly two years I suppose. And we have a 14 month old daughter, whom we both absolutely adore. We fight like any other couple does, and we tend to hash things out pretty quickly. Before going into detail, I need to give information about us, and our personalities.
I am a laid-back, easy going kind of person, I am patient, persuasive, often manipulative(not always on purpose), I am financially irresponsible, people tend to like me more than dislike, I am the go to guy, I am quiet, I know when to shut the hell up and when I need to run my mouth, I play WoW but live a completely healthy social life/family life outside of it(so I believe), I am usually calm and collected, I am very open minded, it takes alot to anger me, I am not violent in the slightest, I normally take rude comments/shots/jokes without a word and walk away, I second guess myself alot, so it stands to reason that I am often the bitch in the relationship, and I am absolutely smitten by my girlfriend and daughter.
now to my significant other, she is forward and controlling, quick to anger, and quick to judge without complete knowledge of the facts, she is also open-minded(but at the same time not), she walks away from something she doesnt want to hear(my experience with alot of girls. She also cut off all contact with her sister for 1.5 years because they got into a little hissy fit), she is very independent, she wont admit when she is wrong most of the time, she is often lazy(but she does have fybromyalgia and Mieniers disease), she is an outstanding mother and when she chooses to, a 'housewife', she was raised by her mother and grandmother(who are also INCREDIBLY controlling, obviously where she gets it from), she never stands up for me when being 'brought down' by anybody, especially her mother grandma, and rarely stands up for herself to them, we are currently financially dependent on them, but we have our own apartment.
DETAILS: So considering all of the above stated, our money, like many others, is in short supply, but we are currently completely dependent on her mother. I like most other people make mistakes, as does she. She would get on to me over the course of the last 2.5 years about things I need to do or not do, especially since we have a child. I have personally sacrificed almost everything I enjoy for our family. I quit smoking cigarettes(now 4 months clean). I have all but quit drinking. I never go out anymore(to friends or the bar, etc.) And I used to play Magic The Gathering, I quit shortly after the baby was born. Basically I am trying to be as much a family man as I can.
Then, she started complaining about me not doing enough around the house/helping with the baby/etc. I now watch the baby when she goes out to run errands or with her family, if I can, I wake up early to watch her so my SO can sleep in. I also do (literally)99% of the housework. I get groceries, and cook when I can to try and make the load as easy for her as I can.
With this years income tax, we got a huge return, and we where able to pay off all our bills, and still have plenty of money left. As stated above, I am financially irresponsible and I am TERRIBLE with money(though over the last 4 months I have gotten better). She wants me to hand over all of my paychecks as soon as I get them so I dont spend it. SHe also wants me to ask before I buy ANYTHING. But I dont get the same respect, and she doesnt limit herself to an allowance like me.(to be fair, she is good with money and doesnt often waste it). We have never set down and made a budget.
THE PROBLEM: After all this, and all my sacrifices I decided with all this extra money left over, I wanted to retain something I used to do, that isnt destructive or going to ruin us. So I went, and without asking, spent $164 on Magic The Gathering cards. On the way home, I realized that was STUPID, but couldnt return them by this point, and I started freaking out. When I got home, I immediately told her what I had done, and gave her all of my money I had, easily more than what I spent. I did not purposely omit the total of what I spent, but I didnt tell her. I was freaking out, either way it was bad to me. Anywho, 2 days later she went online to the bank account and saw that, and asked me about it, and I again told her. She immediately became furious, and told me that she cannot trust me and to give her my key, and kicked me out. So for the last 3 days I have been stuck sitting outside, and crashing on friends couches. She says she is willing to work it out(then takes it back, then says it again, etc), but it will take ALONG TIME. She has not taken my feelings into consideration(I dont think). What am I supposed to do, I dont make enough to afford my own place, and its difficult to find a roommate. The only thing I want is her and my daughter, I want our family. I personally think that this has been blown way out of proportion. I will admit I messed up and made a mistake, but I dont think it should have escalated to this. So right now, I am crashing at my friends apartment on his couch....who get this.....is married to my girlfriends sister!!!( I introduced them). And they tell each other everything, its awfully awkward sometimes.
She believes I havent grown up enough, and I am to immature. But what else can I possibly do?? When is enough, enough? When is this going to turn into a give and take relationship, and not just a take? Why am I the only one sacrificing and changing? What can I do to show her that I am for real, and that I want our family? Any advice would be appreciated asap. I love my girlfriend and my daughter, and they are all I want in this world.